Emergency Press Conference - Smittygate

Listen I didn’t want to do this. Smitty vs Nate isn’t my fight. I’m just the ref. Just trying to keep it fair and make sure there is no eye gouging in the corners. That’s all. Just keep it clean. So when Nate called Smitty lazy during the rundown a couple days ago I didn’t think much about it and casually agreed with Nate. Smitty hasn’t worked hard compared to 99% of our full time employees. That’s not me being mean. That’s just a statement of fact. It will get dark tonight. Smitty hasn’t worked hard. I thought everybody including Smitty knew that.

So I was surprised to see when he chirped me this morning with blog stats since June this year. Umm yeah he’s done more than me when I’m organizing our entire move to NYC. He’s done more than Big Cat when he has PMT which is a full time job.

But look at the bigger picture. Stats don’t lie. I hated to dig them up. I mean it’s embarrassing how his production compares to everybody else. Now we got Smitty fans scrambling for excuses. But you didn’t support him blah blah blah. SHUT UP. LOOK AT THE STATS! Good job good effort.

So why haven’t I fired him if his productivity is so low? Because I think Smitty can be big in NYC. I want him to be big. The more stars we have the better it is. If I’m gonna sell Barstool for 100 million I need 20 Big Cat, Pres, Kfc’s. Nobody is gonna buy this company is they think once our top guys leave the company will crumble. I want everybody to be a monster. So Smitty and Smitty fans need to shut the fuck up. It’ll be sink or swim time in NYC and you guys will have nobody to credit or blame except the guy in the mirror. Unless he’s successful then I deserve 50% of the credit for motivating his blockhead ass and sticking with him like a true leader of men