Dude Who Had His Dick Ripped Off Might Be The Luckiest Man In The Entire World, Gets A Bionic Replacement

(Source) — A man whose penis was ripped off as a child has been fitted with an 8-inch bionic replacement. Mohammed Abad, 43, has undergone pioneering surgery over the last three years to have the new fully functioning penis fitted. He lost his genitals in a horrific accident at age 6 when he was hit by a car and dragged for 600 yards. Surgeons started crafting a proper replacement three years ago with a skin graft taken from his arm. Abad’s manhood has two tubes along its length which inflate with fluid when he presses a button on his testicles. “When you want a bit of action you press the ‘on’ button, and when you are finished you press another button. It takes seconds,” Abad, from Edinburgh, Scotland, told The Sun. Abad, who is divorced and currently single, had his final operation last month at University College London.

First of all, great choice going with an 8 incher. Think that’s probably the best dick size choice, you’re packing but you’re not sending chicks running away. Your first reaction is like I’d give myself a two footer but when you think about it, 8 is the right move. Second of all, how awesome would it be to have a fucking bionic cock? Yeah, getting dragged by a car and having your dick ripped off your body would suck. So would living dickless from age 6 to 43. But I think it would all be worth it the first time you tell a chick that you have a bionic dick. Doesn’t get much better than that. All of a sudden you’re Henry Rowengarter and a terrible accident has taken quite the fortuitous turn. “Hey honey, wanna come home with me? Doctors just spent three years building my dick and treated the thing like a create-a-player in a video game: 99 stats across the board.” That pickup line works every single time.

PS – This dude is divorced? Must have an unreal tongue game if you’re getting chicks to marry you and you don’t even have a goddamn dick.