Does This Look Like The Face Of A Lowell Priest Caught Getting Blown By A Prostitute In A Cemetery?

LOWELL — An official of the Archdiocese of Boston pleaded not guilty today after he was allegedly found with a prostitute behind a cemetery. Monsignor Arthur Coyle, 62, of Lowell was arraigned this morning in Lowell District Court. Bail was set at $500 cash, and he was slated to return to court Sept. 16 for a pretrial conference, said Middlesex district attorney’s spokeswoman Stephanie Guyotte. In a statement released this afternoon, the archdiocese said Coyle had voluntarily taken a leave of absence from his post as episcopal vicar for the Merrimack Region, a post he has held since 2008. Coyle was arrested at 5:19 p.m. Sunday after he offered a prostitute money for sex, said Lowell Police Captain Kelly Richardson. In a report filed in court, police quoted Coyle as telling them that he had paid a woman working as a prostitute $40 for oral sex. Coyle told police the sex act had not been completed, the report said. Police had spotted Coyle’s black Chevy Equinox and noticed he had a “known prostitute” in the passenger seat, the report said. After the vehicle parked behind the Polish Cemetery in Lowell, officers waited five minutes, then approached the vehicle and separated Coyle from the alleged prostitute, Siriwan Kongkaen, 38, police said in the report.

If ever there was a picture that says “I get blown by hookers in cemeteries,” that’s the one. In fact I’m pretty sure he’s getting blown by a hooker in that picture and Monsignor Arthur Coyle is just the worst Stone Face player in history (never would have survived at Milton Academy). Like you can tell a lot about a person by their professional pictures. If you look at someone’s elementary school class pics, you can always tell who had the overbearing parents because they have perfectly parted hair and they’re decked out in Oshkosh B’Gosh. In frat composites, you can tell who the loudmouth douchebag is because he’ll be wearing neon sunglasses. And in Archdiocese pics you can tell who likes to get blown by $40 whores if he looks just like this.