Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Arrested For Jerking Off In The McDonald's Drive-Thru

(SmokingGun) – Steve Orville Clemons was at the drive-thru window of a Wildwood McDonald’s when the cashier “turned to him to give him his change.” At that point, the woman realized that Clemons was sans pants and was pleasuring himself. Clemons then allegedly “grabbed the cashier’s hand and attempted to pull her hand into his vehicle,” according to an arrest affidavit detailing the September 21 incident. After pulling her hand away from Clemons, the worker shut the drive-thru window and called 911.

1. Creepy smile, bro. Really weird. If you’re arrested for masturbating in public try not to give a smile in your mugshot that screams, “I masturbate in public.” Your public defendant probably saw this and immediately started begging for a plea.

2. Grabbing the McDonald’s attendants hand is the weirdest part of this story. I get jerking off in the car, I’ve done it. But pulling her hand into your car? Were you trying to get her to tug your prick? No thank you. I’ll take jerking myself off over a handjob every day of the week. Any time I’ve been offered a dry handy I’m like a proud retarded person, assuring them that I’d rather do it myself. Certainly not going to accost a McDonald’s worker for it.