Does This Look Like the Face of A Dude Who Got Mugged And Woke Up A Genius?

NYPOST - When Jason Padgett pours cream into his morning coffee, this is what he sees: “I watch the cream stirred into the brew. The perfect spiral is an important shape to me. It’s a fractal. Suddenly, it’s not just my morning cup of joe, it’s geometry speaking to me.”Padgett’s world is bursting with mathematical patterns. He is one of a few people in the world who can draw approximations of fractals, the repeating geometric patterns that are building blocks of everything in the known universe, by hand. Flash back 12 years: Padgett had dropped out of Tacoma (Wash.) Community College, and was a self-described “goof” with zero interest in academics, let alone math. The only time he dealt in numbers was to track the hours until his shift ended at his father’s furniture store, tally up his bar tab, or count bicep curls at the gym. Party time came to end the night of Friday, Sept. 13, 2002, at a karaoke bar near his home. There, two men attacked him from behind, punching him in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious.He was rushed to the hospital, where a CT scan revealed a bruised kidney. He was released that same night. The next morning, while running the water in the bathroom, he noticed “lines emanating out perpendicularly from the flow. At first, I was startled, and worried for myself, but it was so beautiful that I just stood in my slippers and stared.” Padgett is one of only 40 people in the world with “acquired ¬savant syndrome,” a condition in which prodigious talents in math, art or music emerge in previously normal individuals following a brain injury or disease.

First things first. I don’t believe this guys story for a second. You don’t just get mugged and then become brilliant. Shit like that doesn’t happen in real life. Yeah it happened to Costanza when he didn’t have sex on Seinfeld and it happened to Homer when they took the crayon out of his brain on the Simpsons. But it doesn’t happen with real human beings. This is some flat out Jmac shit.

Anyway none of that is really here nor there. Am I supposed to be impressed he can draw fractals by hand? Talk about the most useless skill in the world huh? Like big whoop dude. Can you write a funny blog? No. Can you draw a pirate dog? No. So take that fractal shit and get out of my face then. And what does being the building blocks of everything in the known universe even mean? You’re telling me fractals are responsible for pizza and popcorn? NO CHANCE. Nothing is that magical. Not even fractals. Nice try fractal dude.