Does This Look Like the Face of A Dude Who Concocted A Story About Witnessing A Murder Because He Was Late Delivering A Pizza?

Democrat and Chronicle - A driver delivered news of a fabricated death instead of a pizza to avoid being fired Wednesday night. Deputies responded to West Ridge Road in Clarkson Wednesday night after Mason A. Requa, 18, called 911 and told deputies he witnessed a homicide about 9 p.m., said Cpl. John Helfer of the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office. Requa gave a detailed description of the incident that “gave credibility to it for some time,” said Helfer. Requa’s account reported the vehicle involved, clothing of the victim and details of the alleged perpetrators, including the type of weapons used. Requa told police he made up the story because he was afraid he would be fired from his pizza delivery job for being late on a delivery.

I demand more info on this story. I need to know why this guy was late delivering the pizza. That’s crucial information right? Like did he have a legit reason why he was late? Did his car breakdown? Did he have bad directions? Or was he doing naughty things like smoking dope and being a prototypical lazy pizza delivery boy. Because I kind of love the hustle here. Kid values his job. Acting like he’s gonna get fired as a hedge fund manager or something. Faking murders and shit just for the right to keep delivering pies. So if he had even a halfway decent excuse I’d give him a 2nd shot no questions asked. Anybody who takes their pizza job this seriously is okay by me. Somebody get me this guy’s address. Free Team Pizza socks on the house. (shipping not included)