Did Donald Trump Get Pissed On? PROBABLY Not. But Guess What? I'm Making Jokes And There's Nothing You Can Do To Stop Me.
Look I don’t know if Trump is a little pee boy or not. It definitely wasn’t a 4chan prank, or whatever they do, but I still find it really hard to wrap my head around the fact that our president elect is a piss guzzler. Then again, I find a lot of the stuff that’s happened over the last few months hard to wrap my head around. So who knows? Does Donald Trump like to have hookers chug a bunch or water and spray that peepee all over him? Maybe, maybe not.
What I do know is that in my mind it’s no fact. Sorry, it is. I’m not CNN. I don’t need two sources or credible sources or anything like that. You tell me something once and it’s fact. I had a guy once tell me eating almonds just makes you hungrier, don’t eat almonds anymore. Had a friend tell me that you don’t need to worry about gum cancer because your gums regenerate every 30 days, haven’t worried about dipping since. Same goes for your liver and drinking, total regeneration. So if I believe all that, do you think I’m NOT going to believe Donald Trump is in Putin’s back pocket because he loves being a prostitute toilet? Totally believe it.
My favorite part of the whole thing, however, is that everyone’s just having a good time with this. Everyone understands that it’s most likely bullshit (BUT maybe it’s not) and we’re getting our jokes off while the Trump maniacs scream “FAKE NEWS! NOT UH! DIDN’T HAPPEN THIS IS FAKE NEWS!!!! STOP SAYING MY PRESIDENT IS A PEE BABY!!!!!” Relax, guy who last month was hashtagging every tweet #pizzagate, we’re just having a little fun. The difference is we’re making a few gifs and a couple of jokes (you know, exactly like every Hillary supporter did during the election and did nothing else), when #pizzagate was happening you MAGA maniacs had memes that were a cross between Charlie trying to find Pepe Silve, Carrie trying to find Abu Nazir, and Rust Cohle’s storage locker. You guys actually had someone storm a pizza place with an AR-15 demanding to see the children. We’re just gonna call Trump a pee baby from the couch and move on with our lives/never move on with our lives because this is the funniest story ever.