CNN's "Sexting Every Parent Should Know" Is Worthless Because Even I Don't Know It
(CNN) — If you think you are tech savvy all because you know what “LOL” means, let me test your coolness. Any idea what “IWSN” stands for in Internet slang? It’s a declarative statement: I want sex now. If it makes you feel any better, I had no clue, and neither did a number of women I asked about it. After you read this list, you’ll likely start looking at your teen’s texts in a whole new way.
First of all, parents, if you’re reading your kid’s text messages then you’re a fucking psychopath to begin with. If you have a teenage child, they’re texting about shit you don’t want to know about. They’re texting about drinking and drugs and fucking. You reading it, and knowing about it, isn’t going to change or stop that. It’s just going to fucking with your mind. Treat your kids like you’re significant other, you know there’s some shit you don’t want to see. Keep it out of sight and out of mind. Ignorance is bliss, ever heard it?
As for these sexts: if you’re using them, you need help. Check yourself into a sexaholics meeting or something because you’re obviously going into some Deep Web chat rooms to find some fucked up stuff. No one normal sends sexts like this. To this day, the only acronym I’ve ever used while sexting is “A/S/L.” Literally nothing else. You want a nude? You say “let me get a pic” then you have a fight over who’s at work or who sent the last pic, not “WTTP.” You want to fuck? You wait until 2 AM on Friday night then say “you out?” not “IWSN.” If you want a kiss on the lips you don’t say anything because that means you’re a goddamn weirdo. I don’t even understand how “8” means oral sex. Like I get the symbolism of 69, but if 8 is oral sex then I’m doing/getting it wrong. The whole list is a nonsensical clusterfuck and just old people trying to pretend they understand young people. No one talks like that. That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works.
