Cleveland Teenager Gets Kicked Out Of His Soccer League For An Absurd Number Of Reasons

via GQ

This is total and complete bullshit. Honest to god, it is. This is the most ridiculous expulsion from a Cleveland U17/18 soccer league that I’ve ever seen in my life.

This is very clearly a fuck around league because there’s no such thing as a co-ed, serious sport. Those leagues don’t exist. The entire point of a co-ed league is to treat the thing like a bar, have some fun, and get the girls to notice you. That’s exactly what Mr. Garruto was doing here, he was playing the co-ed game with honor and respect by scoring 14 goals then birthing soccer balls right in the goalie’s face. I guarantee that everyone on his team was having a blast, probably everyone on the other team as well, while he ran around the pitch taking phone calls in a cowboy hat. You know who’s way, way worse than the guy just fucking around and having a good time in the club soccer organization where you’re required to have x number of girls? The guy who treats it like it’s the fucking World Cup.