Bruce Miller Instagramming "Sundays Are For The Boys" Before Beating The Shit Out Of An Old Man And Getting Released By The 49ers Is Not Good For PR

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(Source) – San Francisco 49er Bruce Miller has been released from the team following an arrest for assault. San Francisco police confirm to KTVU that the 29-year-old fullback was arrested in San Francisco Monday morning. Miller allegedly tried to check into the Fisherman’s Wharf Marriott Hotel on Sunday night, but was told the hotel was full. Sources say he returned Monday morning and knocked on one of the guest room doors. The room was occupied by an elderly couple who did not know Miller. The neighboring guest, the couple’s 29-year-old son, told Miller that he had the wrong room.  That’s when Miller allegedly began attacking him. The man’s father came to his son’s aid, and was also attacked by Miller. Sources say the 70-year-old man was punched in the face and suffered broken bones.

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I’d like to take this opportunity to clear up some misconceptions about Saturdays being for the boys. First and foremost: Saturdays are for the boys. Saturdays. The day after Friday and before Sunday. Saturday. That’s the day that is for the boys and all the mischief we want to get into. You know what happens if you do all that shit on a Sunday, long weekend or not? You get arrested and fired. If Bruce beats the shit out of a 29 year old and breaks a few bones in his 70 year old dad’s face on a Saturday then guess what? Jed York is like “LMFAOOOOOOOOOO! Classic Saturday. Just a couple of guys being dudes.” But you do that shit on a Sunday? Cut. Find a new job. There’s only one day that’s made for the boys and it ain’t the Lord’s day.

Second of all, while we’re here I’d like to address the presence of girls on a Saturday. It’s totally acceptable. I got some shit on Saturdays throughout the summer but it  was never enough for a blog. Now that we’ve got this PR situation, I figured we might as well talk about the girls too. Girls can be for the boys, my friends. In fact, girls are more for the boys than anyone I’ve ever met. When was the last time you sucked your friend’s dick? Thought so. But, BUT, the girls must acknowledge that they’re playing second fiddle to partying on a Saturday. Girls can hang out all they want on a Saturday, but they must… they MUST… understand that it’s a drinking day and nothing else. The moment they forget that fact, they must go.

Thank you for taking the time to read this PR statement. Now please go buy a tshirt.