Breaking News! Miami Police On the Lookout For A New Drug That Madonna Invented Called Molly At Ultra This Weekend

Miamiherald – Starting Friday, Ultra Music Festival is expected to attract more than 160,000 young people from across the world to party with hundreds of international DJs and music artists. This year, it’s attracting something else: Molly. The drug, sold for $10 to $25 a capsule, is a new way to market a familiar drug. It got a memorable boost last year at Ultra, when Madonna went on stage and shouted to the audience: “How many people in this crowd have seen Molly?” “Molly is a new phenomenon. Something that is still developing,” said Maj. Jorge Martin, commander of the Miami Police Special Investigation Section, which deals with high-end illegal narcotics.“When Madonna made her … remark, we were starting to see it. A year later, our investigation has grown twofold.”

I’m not sure anybody in the history of earth has been more out of touch with reality than Major Jorge Martin. Like this guy first heard about Molly when Madonna said it last year at Ultra? Really? That’s when Miami cops first started noticing it? I don’t even know how to respond to that? I mean Madonna almost put Molly out of business because people figured it must have jumped the shark as a cool drug if Mandonna was name dropping it. Yet somehow that’s what tipped the Miami PD off? Umm yeah I think there may be some of this so called Molly this year at Ultra. Just a hunch.