Boston Globe Headlines Today: The Downing of Flight 17 Or Man Shaving His Face On Orange Line?

So I was at Delmar all weekend.  Didn’t turn on a TV or my computer once.  Just bet on horses all weekend.  I had no idea that the Russians basically shot down that Malayasian plane till this morning.  It’s obviously headline news everywhere except Boston.com.   Their lead story is this one.  A man was seen shaving another guy on the Orange Line.   Don’t get me wrong this is a crazy story, but John Henry has to get off my dick.    Like really bro?   You’re just going to do my gig now?   Just post shit that we post and ignore the real headlines?   Come on John.  I’ve sacrificed so much in my life, can i at least get laid? I’ve had most of my money stolen from me, can i at least get a blow job?  Or maybe a little Stool on the front page so people know they are reading an offshoot of ours.   Is that too much to ask?   Or maybe season tickets to the Sox?

PS – Not impressed with this barber at all.   I mean what kind of barber gives another guy a shave with Mach 3?   Any barber worth their salt uses a blade like in the Untouchables.   If you can give a clean shave with that on a moving train then I’ll tip my cap.