Boston.Com Love Letters - I Can't Get Over A Married Man
The Question
I need some help with a problem that will not be very popular with your readers. Two years ago I had an affair with a married man who works in the same neighborhood as I do (not a coworker). I am also married and we both agreed that it would be a casual-sex-only relationship. It lasted for about 6 months before he decided to break it off with me because he was “trying to be good.”
The problem is that we’ve been over for a year and a half and I still can’t seem to shake it. I can’t get over this guy. I think about him constantly. We bump into each other a few times a week and barely exchange words but I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than a half hour alone with this guy.
I need advice on how to move on with my life. I didn’t tell a soul about my affair and don’t have anyone I can talk to about it. Keeping myself distracted hasn’t worked so far and I’m sick of pining over a person who I can never have. Any advice would be helpful.
– Wanting What I Can’t Have, Cambridge
The Answer
A:It’s therapy time — mainly because you’re focused on the wrong thing. You’re obsessing over this man but you should be thinking about what led you to him in the first place. Something went wrong in your own world. You need to figure out what’s missing at home so that you can move on. You do have the power to change the channel in your brain. It doesn’t seem that way, but it’s true.
Readers? Should she tell people what happened? Why is she stuck on him? Thoughts about getting over it? Discuss.
– Meredith
Per usual “Hoss Goldstein” giving some of the worst advice humanly possible.
El Pres Answer
Dear Wanting What I Can’t Have, Cambridge
Honey let me tell you something about guys who cheat. They don’t suddenly stop banging you because they are trying to be a “good guy.” They stop banging you because they are bored of your pussy. If you’re still having awesome sex and doing crazy shit in the rack he’s gonna keep giving you that dick. But the second you try to get all couply he’s gonna run for hills. Married dudes don’t need 2nd wives. They need freaks. That’s part 1.
Part 2 is you got to stop writing letters. You got to stop whining how you have nobody to talk to. That makes married guys real nervous. Snitches get stiches. If you really want that dick just turn up the slut level times a billion and keep that yap shut. If you do that you’ll be getting stuffed again in no time. At least that’s my perception of what married guys who cheat are thinking.