Bill Clinton Was On Another Planet Last Night

Bill, come over here. Let’s rap for a second. You ok, dude? Seriously, how are you feeling? Because I’ll shoot you straight here, you’re not looking too hot. Where’s Slick Willy? Where’s the guy who’s out on that stage ripping the saxophone, shooting finger guns and winks at the ladies then shoving a cigar or two up their ass? That’s the Bill I know and love. Retired Bill isn’t for me. He’s like every grandfather ever, all the ones who retired then didn’t realize how annoying their wives are when you’re spending all day with them instead of working 18 hour shifts down at the mill/on Air Force One. So what do you do? You turn to the good stuff to numb all the noise. Whiskey is what most men choose but it looks like Bill went the pharmaceutical route. I don’t know what kind of pill the guy took but he looks like he’s got no idea where he is up there. In “Parks and Rec” the campaign manager, Kathryn Hahn, told Leslie that she usually just shoves a couple of Percs down the spouses throat before a public event and it appears former presidents get the same treatment.

Can’t say I’m all too surprised, as woman + time = “get me the hell out of here and if you can’t do it physically then just take my mind,” but still sad to see. Bill looks like a guy that’s being kept in a cage and heavily medicated then trotted out as a show piece. A circus animal. Slick Willy looks like he’s been reduced to this crazy robot’s show pony. Damn shame.