Alec Baldwin Trotting Out His Gay Hairdresser To Prove He's Not A Homophobe Made Me Laugh Out Loud

Absolutely tremendous. Nobody takes an extinguisher to the flames of controversy like Baldwin. Dude isn’t homophobic, he’s got a gay hairdresser. So what if saying “I’m not homophobic, I have a gay hairdresser” is like saying “I’m not racist, I have a black friend” only about 1,000 times more offensive. Because you’re not actually friends with him, you just pay him for his services because those queers sure can cut hair. But, whatever. If Nick says Alec isn’t homophobic then I believe him.

And in case you think Alec is racist in any other way, might as well get all these facts out of the way now…

Alec doesn’t hate black people, he’s got a black bodyguard.

Alec went to his accountant’s kid’s Bar Mitvah, so don’t even try saying he doesn’t like Jews.

Think Alec has it out for illegal immigrants? Think again. His maid and landscaper, Esperanza and Chavo, say he gives great Navidad tips.

Baldwin has been to numerous casinos so he supports the plight of Native Americans.

If you think Alec holds 9/11 against all Arab people you’re wrong because his cab driver to the gay hair salon was named Mohammed.

His wife gets her nails done at this great little Chinese place so the Baldwins and Asians go together like chicken and peanuts.