Adidas Is Offering An Island To Anyone Who Beats The 40 Record At The Combine And These Islands Stink

For as long as I can remember I’ve always thought that owning an island was the height of wealth, but after seeing these pictures I’m changing my tune. Yeah, there are some islands that would be awesome to own, some shit like St. Thomas or something. I mean look at these locations. Belize? Nicaragua? North Carolina? Maine? I don’t want an island in any of those places, I don’t even want a long weekend in any of those places. If adidas wants me to try and win at running then they better offer me some better shit than this. I don’t get out of bed for anything less than Australia but you think Bachelor Island is gonna make me run my hardest? I think not, friends.

Take that island surrounded by poop water and infested with dead trees and go right to hell. Give me Ibiza.