A Naked Dude Fell Out Of The Ceiling In The Women's Room At Logan This Weekend Then Ran Out, Bit An Old Man's Ear And Choked Him With A Cane

BOSTON (CBS) – A Boston man faces a laundry list of charges he allegedly stripped naked, climbed into the ceiling of a woman’s bathroom, fell onto the floor and assaulted an elderly man at Logan Airport. Massachusetts State Police said Cameron Shenk, 26, walked into a Terminal C women’s bathroom, removed his clothes and climbed into the drop ceiling just before 12 p.m. on Saturday. Shenk then fell through the ceiling back onto the floor, suffering cuts to his head and body, and ran from the bathroom “naked and bleeding,” police said. After leaving the bathroom, Shenk allegedly assaulted and seriously injured an 84-year-old man. The elderly man was transported to an area hospital with injuries that police said are non-life threatening. While arresting Shenk, an officer suffered a minor injury that police said required medical treatment. Shenk was taken to Mass General Hospital to be treated for his injuries. When he is released, police will return him to barracks at Logan Airport for booking. The Boston resident is facing charges of attempted murder, mayhem, assault and battery on a person over 60, assault and battery on a police officer, lewd and lascivious act, and malicious destruction of property over $250.

I kind of get this. Airport’s are a dangerous fucking place. All you have is time and access to alcohol. When you try and find the cure to boredom at the bottom of a pint glass, chaos is bound to ensure. Like no one flies sober. It’s 2014, there’s no point to it. So you pop a few pills then go sit at an airport bar. But with each flight delay, and each “You know what? I’ll do one more.” You get closer and closer to bad decision time. Sooner of later you’re going to hit that buzz sweet spot where you’re horny as a motherfucker and one of those Hudson News Playboy’s isn’t going to get the job done because Playboy is too high and mighty to cater to your pee fetish. Only solution is to get naked and climb into the ceiling of a women’s bathroom. If your flight was on time none of this would have happened so it’s kind of totally the airline’s fault when you really think about it.

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PS – “Mayhem” is the most badass charge to have on a rap sheet. I’ll party with any person who’s been arrested for causing mayhem.