7 Knee Jerk Jerk Reactions to Gronk's Surgery
Rob Gronkowski’s back injury worse than thought. He is getting surgery tomorrow, per source. No time frame on possible return.
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) December 1, 2016
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1. I’m not going to try to polish this turd. It’s terrible news for the Patriots from any angle you look at it. For starters, it’s pretty apparent by now that the offense is what is going to have to carry this team to LomBrady Trophy V. The defense can’t do it. Stephen Gostkowski sure can’t do it. And the McOffense still hadn’t hit it’s maximum potential, lighting teams up and partying like it’s 2007. This was designed to be a machine, with an unstoppable dual threat at tight end that was going to give Josh McDaniels noctural emissions. We’ve barely gotten an impression of what it could have become. And now it looks like we never will.
2. The initial reports are that even with successful surgery will mean eight weeks recovery. That takes us to about the AFC championship game. But I always add at least 50% to the estimates, because I’m a pessimist. If Gronk makes it to the Super Bowl, consider yourself blessed.
3. This will feed the beasts who insist Gronk is fragile – “Glasskowski” – and say they need to get rid of him. “The most important ability is availability” and all that. Bullshit. Even a Gronk that is not available for 16 games a year is an all time great. Fun fact: If you go by touchdowns per game, he is second in NFL history. And the only guy ahead of him retired in World War II. No tight end is even close to him. Tony Gonzalez set the tight end touchdown mark in like 270 games. Gronk is on pace to pass him in like 160 games. You never let a guy with his talent out of your hands. Remember where he was when he hurt his back? Behind the safeties. Where you’ll never find another tight end.
4. He gets hurt because he is a target, period. He’s not fragile, he’s in everybody’s crosshairs. That hit he took from Cam Chancellor would have killed the entire family tree of a lesser tight end.
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5. The Patriots are not doomed. Not by a damned sight. They’ve still got weapons. Martellus Bennett is a baller. The Wonder Twins backfield of James White and Dion Lewis has a million options. With LeGarrette Blount, they can run the ball better than they have since Corey Dillon in 2004. Brady can and will find a way. It’s just a much, much steeper hill. But as DeGaul said, cemeteries are filled with indispensable men.
6. Fuck Madden. I would never let anyone on that goddamned cover again.
7. 2016 can eat a dick.