#68: I’m Going To Need Someone To Explain Exactly How This Chick Walked Right Onto The Red Line Tracks

Remember the M Night Shyamalan classic, “The Happening”? The movie where (SPOILER ALERT!!!) the plants got really mad that we humans are destroying the earth so they decided to start releasing toxins that made all humans kill themselves? Like dudes would just lay down in front of lawn mowers and shit, for no reason at all? Well, don’t go outside because I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what’s happening in Boston right now. That’s the only explanation for walking clean off the platform like that: plant toxins want you to kill yourself. Only thing that makes even a lick of sense.