This Girl Getting Back On Tinder Has A Winning Attitude About The Incoming Barrage Of Dick Pics

S-MAYBELEADpositivedickpicattitude

To me this is a lot like the University of Chicago banning safe spaces and “trigger warnings”. This girl knows that to get the experience she wants out of life, she has to be on Tinder. And to be on Tinder means she’s probably going to get a creep or two blasting her with an unsolicited dick pic. It’s scary, it challenges you, but she’s not running and hiding so she can achieve her goal of finding app-based love. She’s broadening her horizons, learning things about foreign dicks that she never knew even existed. She’s freeing herself from the shackles of a life lived in fear of dick pics, and only now can she truly live. (via S)

Well it’s been a wild week here at Barstool with wild accusations of girl hoarding coming up in the Smitty vs Nate Rundown that led to me revealing how that all went down. But the time for drama is over, it’s time to get back to basics, the simple things, the Tinder blog. Please do FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER AND DM ME YOUR SCREENSHOTS and without further adieu, let’s get to it.

RG

(via RG)

RS-prettyfuckeduptoairouttheincrediblehulksdicklikethat

Pretty fucked up to air out the Incredible Hulk’s dick like that (via RS)

MM-thecincinnatizooisnotpleasedaboutyourgorillasexjokesyoumonsters

The Cincinnati Zoo is not pleased about your gorilla sex jokes you monsters (via MM)

AS-PAIRWITHMMthisisalittlecrassharambeyoushouldstickwithyourotherprofile

This is a little crass, Harambe, maybe you should stick with your other profile (via AS)

CB-MAYBELEADasiansinherbutt

…there’s no way she means the Asian thing right? (via CB)

BB-yourcompetitionfortheweekismikenapoliandyouwillnotwinthiscompetition

Your competition for the week is Mike Napoli and odds are you will not win this competition (via BB)

TJ-itsniceofhertosavetheawkwardcouplesonherefromhavingtoask

It’s nice of her to save the awkward couples on here from having to ask (via TJ)

TR-PAIRWITHTHREESOMEbasedonlooksthiscouplewouldprobablylovethatlastchick

Based on looks, this couple would probably love that last chick (via TR)

C

(via C)

JG-everythingaboutthislinesupimo

Everything about this lines up IMO (via JG)

DS-AwouldneverguessjewishBthatmightbethemostbeautifulfaceeverinthisblognotsurewhatitis

A) Would never guess Jewish B) This might be the most beautiful face ever in this Tinder blog, not sure what it is about her (via DS)

MB-idontknowthatyouhavetosacrificeyourselfbutyoucanshowyoursupportforharambewithoutsacrificecomfortinournewharambeshirts

I don’t know about sacrificing yourself for Harambe but you can show your support for the majestic beast without sacrificing comfort with our new Harambe shirts:

Screen Shot 2016-08-26 at 2.44.22 PM

Harambe: Because a gorilla can’t sue (via MB)

PB-MAYBELEADrevenge

Revenge is a dish best served with a goopy vagina full of semen (via PB)

AS-godiloveredheadswhodontlookweird

God I love redheads who don’t look weird (via AS)

M-atleastaskfora6syoulowselfesteemhavinmotherfucker

At least ask for a 6S or hold out for a 7 you low self esteem having motherfucker (via M)

 
 

MT-VinceisdoingthebumbleprofileVinceisoutofthebumbleprofile

“Vince wants to do the Bumble profile” “Vince isn’t doing the Bumble profile!” “Vince is gonna do the Bumble profile everybody! Let’s party!” *Jane’s Addiction hits* (via MT)

BMQ-evenAmericasTeamssexycheerleadersareonbumblenowimsold

Would be sexier in a Free Brady shirt probs (via BMQ)

BV-iwonderhowaccurateshegetswithsaidceramicpenisrecreations

I wonder how accurate she gets with the ceramic penis recreations, I assume the dudes aren’t staying there allowing her to build a mold (via BV)

CS1-yourcompetitionfortheweekhaskindofaRandBdupEricAndrethinggoing

CS2

Your other competition for the week has kind of an R&B’d up Eric Andre thing going because there’s no way this is real (via CS)

CW-foronceyoucanactuallysaythisliterallythosetitsareasbigasherhead

For once you can actually say this literally: Those tits are bigger than her head (via CW)

Ish-herbeingthathotwiththataggressiveofaprofileisdreamgirlstatus

Her being that hot with that aggressive of a profile is dream girl status (via ISH)

RB-hammersandcutlerbashingandstillbeingsinglemeanschicagoneedstosteptheirgameup

Cannons and Cutler bashing and still being single means the men of Chicago need to step their game up (via RB)

ZS-theicingontheformerismuchlessdeliciousthough

The icing on the former is much less delicious (via Z)

And onto the hot and NSFWish ones…

BC-notsureifherbeingunderwaterissomesortof37yearoldwitchcrafttolookhot

Not sure if her being underwater is some sort of 37-year-old witchcraft to look hot (via BC)

DM-HOTNSFW

(via DM)

SS-HOTNSFWihavetosaythiswasatremendousweekfortitsinsubmissions

I have to say this is a tremendous week for tits in submissions (via SS)

JG-HOTNSFWfitgirlbootyislikeagiftfromthegods

Fit girl booty is like a gift from the Gods (via JG)

Creamy-HOTNSFWWHOFLOATEDITBETTER

WHO FLOATED IT BETTER????

Screen Shot 2016-08-26 at 2.53.17 PM

(via Creamy)

cs-HOTNSFWohhhwereallsoooooimpressedmegan

Ohhhhh we’re all sooooooo impressed Megan (via CS)

RS-HOTNSFWiseeonefeaturethatcouldgiveheralegupinthatpursuit

I see one feature that could give her a leg up in that pursuit (via RS)

C-HOTNSFWthisweeksreminderthatimveryconfusedbywhysometranswomencapitalizeeverywordintheirbio

This week’s reminder that I’m Very Confused By Why Some Trans Women Capitalize Every Word In Their Bio (via C)

T-HOTNSFWclichebiobutissheseriouswiththatbodyunrealhootersyouvedoneitagain

Cliché bio but is she serious with that body? Unreal. Hooters you’ve done it again (via T)

JD-HOTNSFWihopeusbuyingoldrowresultsinmoreaccesstosouthernbutts

I hope us buying Old Row results in more access to Southern butts (via JD)

SJ1-HOTNSFW

SJ2-HOTNSFWmakethattwotimesgoflocktoherfratboys

Make that two times, go flock to her frat boys (via SJ)

MB-everysetofseethroughnipsonthedatingappsthatsthespagspromise

Every set of see through nips on the dating apps will be in this blog, that’s the Spags Promise (via MB)

J-HOTNSFWprettayprettayprettayaggressiveprofileyouvegotthere

Prettay prettay prettayyyy aggressive profile you’ve got there (via J)

E-HOTNSFWiftheressomeidiotouttherefuckingkendrasunderlandofftinderiwantthatmantoknowiahtehimbutwouldalsosniffhisfingers

There’s some idiot out there fucking Kendra Sunderland with no strings attached and I want him to know that I hate him but would also sniff his fingers (via E)

TM-HOTNSFWsuchaclassichawaiianfarawaybuttshot

Such a classic Hawaiian style far away butt shot (via TM)

K-HOTNSFWthatsthekindofproudUSCbootythatllhelpbeatBamainafewweeks

That’s the kind of proud USC booty that’ll help us beat Bama in a few weeks (via K)

R-HOTNSFWshehadmeathopinmyDMs

She had me at “hop in my DMs” (via R)

S-HOTNSFWihatehowgirlsknowthatpullingthehandphotoisthehottestthingever

I hate how girls know that the “pulling the hand” photo is the hottest thing ever (via S)

CC-HOTNSFWandlookslikethefarawaynudesareofficiallyofficiallyathing

And looks like the far away nudes are officially officially a thing (via CC)

JH-HOTNSFWJcrewsnewlinemustreallysaveonproductioncosts

J Crew’s new clothing line must really save on production costs (via JH)

And there we have it, another week in the books. There won’t be a blog next Friday due to Labor Day weekend but please do follow me on Twitter and DM in your screenshots because we’re going to do a blowout one from the BRAND SPANKING NEW BARSTOOL OFFICE on September 9th. Imagine I just threw confetti in the air. Anyway thanks to the folks who sent things in and happy swiping!