Recap Of Genie Bouchard's Date With The Guy Who Won Their Super Bowl Bet

Last night, tennis star and hottest woman alive Genie Bouchard took John Goehrke on a date. John had bet her during the Super Bowl that the Pats would come back, and if they did, she’d go on a date with him. Well, we all know what happened, and Genie made good on the bet to the tune of courtside seats at a Nets game. You guys don’t know this about me, but I have a huge thing for tennis players. I’m very jealous of John, but I’m not mad. Why? Because he’s pretty hot, for a guy. I will stand by that statement. I would be WAY angrier about this story if this guy was a total mook, but he’s pretty handsome and seems cool. Let’s put it this way–if I had rain-manned this date with Genie, the world would be a lot more pissed off seeing pictures of me with her than this handsome motherfucker. It’s much easier to swallow a pill if the chick you love is dating a total stud. If she’s dating a loser, you’re frustrated AND confused, and that confusion will eat at your soul.

She paid for his flight and hotel room, got them courtside seats to the Nets-Bucks game, and showed up looking like a million bucks. She also took a LOT of pictures and seemed extremely happy, which begs the question: did they bang? I’m not even kidding, she seems completely into him. Look at these pictures:

God, I just don’t know. I want to say they did, but I don’t know if I could handle it. I mean credit where credit is due: John Goehrke (fuck that outrageous name) could not have gotten in at a better time. Genie’s spread is about to come out in the SI Swimsuit edition, she’s currently ranked #47 in the world, and she’s 22. Plus she’s Canadian, so you know she’s probably nice. Ugh. Someday, my ship will come in. For now, I’ll stand on the dock and wave goodbye to these two lovebirds:

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