Porn Stars Teaching Real Girls How To Give A Good Blowjob is Everything I've Ever Wanted From One Of These Viral Videos

For as much as I hate those cliché Internet prank videos, for some reason I feel the exact opposite for these “Put two people in a studio and ruin their relationship or make them reveal awkward things” kind of viral videos. They’re always the perfect length with great structure for someone as ADD as I am and that’s without the added bonus of the first two seconds of the video featuring a professional sex-haver making gagging noises while doing this:

Then you throw in these two chicks who look more like one sister trying to convince the other to do porn too and yes I’m locked in:

Especially given the sage advice of “Don’t bite the dick off. Guys don’t like that.” Savvy wisdom you can only get from a life of having strangers ejaculate inside your mouth with a sticky boom mic feet away. Then you have the other side of the coin with a chick like Skin Diamond advocating for getting a dick down this chick’s esophagus so she can also stick her tongue out and lick the balls at the same time:

Like relax a little, Skin, we’re teaching basic long division about not biting off dicks here and you’re expecting the light skinned black girl with Felicity hair to use quadratic functions to graph a parabola. We build to that here.

Overall though, rock solid video and also one you can show to your girlfriend under the guise of “Lol check out how funny this is! Oh yeah also maybe you should try some of the tips in it too? ” Brilliant strategy.

Also I’m not proud to admit I recognized Skin Diamond and it’s because she played Sandy the Squirrel in a Spongebob parody porn. Don’t tell your girlfriend that part.