Cam Newton Got Busted Sliding Into Some DMs And His DM Game...I Honestly Can't Even Comprehend It

Baller Alert – Cam Newton is expecting his second child with his fiancee Kia and depending on who you ask, he may still be married.

Baller Alert got our hands on some DM’s sent by Cam Newton, to the owner of online shop @just4eign. Newton initially enters her inbox and asks her where she lives. She answers Atlanta, makes some small talk with him, and eventually tells the Baller she is married. However, that doesn’t stop Cam from continuing the conversation. In fact, he eventually tells her that he is coming to Atlanta soon and would like to grab lunch or dinner. He also calls her husband a “sucka ass guy” and refers to him as “outdated software.” If that in itself wasn’t weird enough, he gives her the pet name “My Killa.”

The DMs appear real because Cam is typing in his signature font. He eventually stopped getting replies and went back and deleted all of his message, says the store owner.

Here are the full alleged DMs with Cam’s weird ass font and you honestly need to read and soak in every single one because it is REALLY something:

Okay so here’s my issue: I can’t tell if this is Cam having negative game or just a result of his persona and the fact that he’s a successful black man who dresses like the monorail dude from The Simpsons. But for whatever the quality of his game may be, the one thing I admire about it is that it’s so absolutely absurd and only something that Cam Newton could do. He’s not spitting out Tinder icebreakers stolen from some nerd on Reddit, he’s out here calling chicks “my killa,” he’s saying that other guys have “outdated software,” he’s calling dudes “sucka ass”…if you or I or even another prominent black celebrity did this we probably get laughed out of the room. But Cam and his fat contract and absurd Andre 3000esque vibes somehow maybe make it work in a way that none of us can ever dream of. The DMs died out but I bet this Mad Libs game that Cam Newton is spitting is working 99 times out of 100 on these other Instagram thots out there whether he’s winning or not.

Advertisement

At the same time maybe Cam would be having a better year if he didn’t have to spend hours a day deciphering some hieroglyphics texts to try to fuck girls in other cities over social media. Gibberish text fonts, bizarre analogies for male inadequacy, planning out trying to fuck chicks hundreds of miles away while weeks in advance…I’m not saying you can’t be a good QB with all of those things but do you hear Matt Ryan calling people “my killa” or saying how “yo mans has outdated software”?