A Girl Gave Her Boyfriend An Illustrated List Of Rules For Him While He's On Vacation With His Boys
The main issue up front: Nothing she’s saying here is THAT fucked up of an expectation of someone you’re dating, at least at the root. People enter relationships because they want commitment and stability, that’s at the heart of all these items here. But the very act of writing them down in this fashion changes the whole tone of things. I think she thought “Oh you know maybe if I sprinkle in some cute colors and a palm tree and wish him a nice flight, it’ll come off as more cute than possessive and a bit psychotic.” And that is a hard no. She could have made this little pamphlet entirely out of letters cut from newspapers and it couldn’t be more insane. No one wants to get cheated on by a significant other on a vacation. But this list made me claustrophobic and I’m not even dating this chick. Let’s say he even wanted to listen to her and go along with it and he bought into the second rule and was like “Fine, I won’t talk to or touch any chicks.” By the time you get to rules 3, 6, 7, and 10, even the softest dude in the world has to be like fuck this, dying to rebel and shove an appendage in whatever warm wet orifice is within a 50 yard radius. People have insecurities and all that but wearing them like a giant neon sign like this is guaranteed to blow up in your face 10 out of 10 times.
Either way, I see no way this can go viral and you let yourself get completely emasculated while on a trip with guy friends. Here’s hoping this retweet means Kieran gets it:
I think the guy he’s retweeting meant “hang out with” and not “hang out of” but both would work just fine. Thanks to whatever chubby Essex girls were willing to give Kieran his dignity back.
(h/t Metro)