A 14-Year-Old Boy Might Become A Sex Offender For Having Consensual Sex With His 12-Year-Old Girlfriend

Screen Shot 2017-05-18 at 11.36.41 AM

NY Post- A 14-year-old boy may be labeled as a sex offender for life after being arrested for having sex with his 12-year-old girlfriend — a “really sick” possibility, according to his family.

The unidentified seventh-grader has been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child in Texas’ Harris County, despite a law that exempts some teens from being classified as sex offenders for having consensual sex with someone within three years of their age.

“He had consensual sex with his little girlfriend and he loved her,” the teen’s mother told the newspaper. “And because he turned 14, they want to make him a sex offender, put him on the registry with pedophiles and child molesters — really sick and dangerous people.”

What the hell are the kids drinking in Harris County, Texas? Champagne? This is apparently a common occurrence there. Usually, these little sexual deviants are protected under what’s called the “Romeo and Juliet” law (seriously), which says that if 2 little kids bang, it’s NBD. But my gawd. High school at the earliest you maniacs! You don’t have a clue what you’re doing!! Save yourselves!

If kids are losing their virginity at 12 these days, count me out of fatherhood. I’m not even going to play the double-standard here–if my son had sex at 12, I’d send him straight to military school. I wouldn’t be patting him on the back, thinking I raised a dick-slinging legend who was way ahead of the game. Of course, if your daughter has sex at 12, you just give up. She’s going into porn, you failed as a father, and your only hope is that she refuses to do anal/gangbang scenes. Grasping at straws, I know.

How about the mom’s take? “He had consensual sex with his little girlfriend and he loved her.” Yeah RIGHT! The fact that you have to call her his “little girlfriend” means he knows nothing about love. He’s just a horny fucking child and I guess he found the one 12-year-old on his level.

For some reason I’m picturing a bearded, 200-pound 14-year-old drinking beers in a dark bar, wallowing in his sorrows because of this lawsuit.

“Tom,” he says. “Pour me another.” (He knows the bartender by name–he’s a regular).

“Jerry, don’t you think you’ve had enough? I can’t let you drive home,” says Tom, concerned (Jerry has been driving since he was 4 because he’s aging faster than Val Kilmer. Also, his name is Jerry because he’s basically 38).

“Fuck off, Tom. My 12-year-old girlfriend broke up with me. Give me the good stuff.”