SOX OFFENDERS

We’ve all heard it a million times – it’s a marathon not a sprint. A cliché to be sure, meant to temper the enthusiasm of Oriole fans that see their club ahead of the Yankees in the standings in April. It also works the other way, attempting to keep Coco Crisp fans off the Tobin Bridge when he’s batting .111 to start the season. It all makes sense, and we know players and teams will find the level they are destined to be at, regardless of how they look in April. But Red and I, we’re Red Sox fans. We don’t live by the rules of logic. We don’t let history or facts get in the way of our views. So as the Boston Marathon finishes just down the street, we take a look at the sprint that has been the first two weeks of the 2007 season, and just how our Sox measure up against the Yankees as we approach the first Boston-New York series this weekend.

Starting Rotation

This isn’t even close, folks. Even before Pavano and Mussina joined Wang on the DL, the Red Sox starting five were superior to the Yankees’ rotation, man for man. Sure, millions of New Yorkers were walking around with a boner after Schilling crapped the sheets in his first start, but that was short-lived. Curt has returned to being Curt, and that spells trouble for all opposing hitters. Dice-K has been everything he was hyped up to be. Beckett is now 3-0 and has seemingly cured his blister problems and found his curve ball. Wakefield has been steady, and Tavares is, well, a fifth starter who is nothing more than a placeholder until Lester returns.

The Yankees, on the other hand, are in a world of hurt – literally. Mussina and Wang have hammies, and Pavano is crying about a sore forearm. That leaves Pettitte, Kei Igawa and Darrell Rasner as your New York starters. Pettitte should be OK, but after that if you’re a Yankee fan, pray for 4 days of rain. The Yankees have called up Jeff Karstens and Chase Wright to replace Mussina and Pavano. Karstens is still recovering from elbow tendonitis. How about that Yankee strength and conditioning program?

Bullpen

For the Red Sox, the bullpen was glaring question mark in spring training. There was no closer, and everyone who had a shot at the job looked like the second-coming of Calvin Shiraldi. Once the move was made to name Papelbon as the closer, all of the pieces fell magically into place. The Sox bullpen is now a strength. Papelbon is as dominating as he was in ’06, Timlin is back from the DL and all of the role players look pretty effective.

With the exception of Kyle Farnsworth, the Yankee bullpen has looked strong. The biggest shock came last Sunday, as Mariano Rivera served up the long-ball to Marco Scutaro. Yeah, the guy with 24 career home runs. Not only was it a blown save and a loss, but it ruined a great start by Pettitte. That has to be considered an aberration, even by the most crazed Red Sox or Yankees fans. Getting to Rivera is going to be the problem for the Yankees. With the damaged starting rotation, expect the bullpen to be called upon more often than Heidi Fleiss.

Defense

Red Sox Nation was on the verge of rebellion when the front office decided not to bring back Alex Gonzalez or Mark Loretta. 2006 was a rare treat for Sox fans: watching spectacular middle-infield defense. Then Theo finally got his man, Julio Lugo…well, that was after his other man, Edgar Renteria, didn’t work out, and the Sox named Dustin Pedroia as the full-time second baseman. And it’s working! Pedroia has a couple of errors but is looking very solid and showing some range. Lugo has booted just one ball so far and looks very comfortable in a Sox uni. The “holy shit” award goes to Mike Lowell who has 4 miscues – 3 in one game – after compiling just 6 errors all of last season. We have to assume a raging hangover or bleeding hemorrhoids led to the 3-error day. The only other error of the season was a blunder by Drew in right –the rest of the outfield, the pitching staff, and Youk have been flawless. By the way, Dice-K is on Gold Glove pace, looking as much like an infielder as a pitching ace.

Things have not been so smooth for the boys in pinstripes. 14 errors for the Evil Empire so far. If I asked you which pretty-boy, cocky, shortstop leads the team, you’d probably guess A-Rod. And you’d be wrong – Derek Jeter has 6 errors playing third base. Captain Intangibles looks like he’s finally being exposed for what he is – an average fielder. Cano and Abreu have each made a couple of errors as well. This category goes to the Red Sox, and nobody is more surprised than me.

Hitting

You had to guess that the advantage goes to the team of all-stars known as the New York Yankees. But it’s closer than I thought it would be. The much-maligned “bottom of the order” has not been as bad as advertised. Varitek – looking miserable throughout spring training and the first week – has started swinging the bat a little. Pedroia started hot but has cooled down. Lowell, who in my opinion was never a concern – is batting .300. But Coco Crisp continues to look like he’s swinging a wet noodle up there. He looks awkward and uncomfortable, and his weird, Carl Everett-like herky-jerky head movements really don’t help. Julio Lugo has been a bright spot as lead-off hitter, sporting a better-than-Damon OBP of .395. Youk has been a solid number 2-hitter, and the big three of Ortiz, Manny and Drew are locks to produce.

The Yankee line-up can just be devastating. A wrecking crew intent on making the opposing pitcher work, then making him pay for any mistake. Damon, if he can stay healthy, will be a top-five lead-off hitter – even without the Jesus-beard and long hair. Jeter, despite his fielding woes, is still Jeter in the 2-hole – no pun intended. Their big three of Abreu, Rodriguez and Giambi are an offensive force. A-Rod has been an absolute machine, leading the league in HR’s and RBI. Giambi, looking like the HGH is doing its job, can hit the ball a ton when he makes contact. Posada and Cano are proven hitters – although if I hear one more time that Cano was named after Jackie Robinson, I’m taking hostages. With Matsui out, however, Melky Cabrera puts a little weak spot in the line-up, and they have no legitimate hitting first baseman if Giambi is forced to DH all year.

The Weekend Series

Regardless of the time of year, the standings, or the match-ups, Yankees-Red Sox is an event. This weekend is no different. Red and I will be on IV Jägermeister starting sometime around 4 PM on Friday, and we’ve already called in sick for next Monday. We’ve taped up the windows and removed all breakable items from the living room. As the young folk say, it is on. The pitching match-ups? Friday it will be Schilling-Pettitte, Beckett-Karstens on Saturday and Matsuzaka-Wright on Sunday. If you have tickets to Sunday’s game, bring your broom.

Red & Denton put forth more garbage each day at www.survivinggrady.com.