Ranking the Pats Cheerleaders In Their Halloween Costumes
So the Pats finally released high quality photos of their cheerleaders in their Halloween costumes from the Washington game. Naturally I felt like it was my duty to go through and rank all of them. So here we go starting with the A Team;
(All Photos from Patriots.com)
A Team
1. Quinn Kingston
Quinn is still my favorite Pats cheerleader. To be honest I’m not really sure what she’s dressed as here, but her body is no joke. She was in a lingerie contest that I judged a couple months ago and her ass totally blinded me. If fact I was getting all ready to pursue her to be on our cover but then I found out she was married which totally sucks. There is no room for boyfriends let alone married chicks at the Stool. Still I feel like I kind of met her so she gets the nod for #1.
2. Alysha Castoguay
Just seems like the type of chick that you want to throw a potato sack over and kidnap the hell out of. I mean she’s as cute as it gets. A nice mix of sex appeal and take home to mom type shit going on here. Just as an FYI I think she’s dressed as a bumble bee.
3. Megan White
Drop it like it's hot Megan! When I first saw some fan photos from the game, Megan was my initial pick for #1. Not a bad choice by me. She’s still hot and I still love the costume. Bottom line is that chicks who wear Girl Scout costumes are basically begging to be treated like a slut. It’s psychology 101.
4. Brianna Lee
I’m sure this will be a controversial decision among the Stoolies, but it’s a documented fact that I like Asian Chicks. And it was almost like the Pats webmaster knew this would be a source of debate so he included an extra picture of her that seals the deal. This my friends is what people in the smut publishing business call a nice rack.
PS – As a memo to all girls who wear thick belts around their waist this is how it’s done. As opposed to having fat leaking out the side and thinking that nobody can see it.
5. Courtney Bennett
I really can’t find anything to say about Courtney. Solid all the way around. Costume is solid. Figure is solid. Face is solid. She’s definitely a playoff team but not a threat to win the whole thing.
6. Lindsey Barrows
Lindsey is bringing up the rear of the “A” group. If the wind blows the wrong way she could slide onto the “B” team. And there is an outside chance she’s 6”5” which would definitely be a detriment.
B TEAM
(Just as a heads up lots of members of the B team could flip flop places with each other. It's just the nature of being on the B squad)
7. Kelly Looke
Pretty enough girl, but she definitely has crazy written all over her. I just feel like she would be the type of chick who would chop off your balls if you slept with her and then didn’t return her phone calls.
8. Leah Vandale
This was one of the more controversial decisions I had to make because for some reason there was a picture of her not in her Halloween gear mixed in with these photos and based on that picture she is a clearly a first ballot Hall of Famer. But unfortunatly the picture of her in her Halloween costume is like night and day. And truth be told, the Halloween costume should be the only thing these girls are judged on. But I just can’t erase the memory of the first photo from my brain. The result is that she is high B Team.
9. Tanya Crouteau
I’m a total sucker for police costumes. And this chick has a slamming body. Her face is kind of hit or miss, but the police outfit with the body propels her to the top of the B Team. And to be honest I'm almost second guessing myself that she's not on the A team.
10. Angela Vernaglia
Another crazy blond chick. Like a poor man’s Kelly Looke.
11. Molly Lang
Fishnet stockings always gain major points with me. And Molly's body looks pretty tight but her smile is flat out psychotic. If she could just tone that down a bit it would do wonders for her whole persona.
12. Corie Mae Callaluca
Totally got screwed by the AP Poll, but I'm too lazy to go back and rearrange everything. She could easily swith places with Angela Vernaglia or Kelly Looke and nobody would bat an eyelash.
13. Sandra Smyly
I feel like I'm starting to sound like a broken record with these mid tier girls. Nice body, crazy looking face blah, blah, blah.
14. Alyssa Caddie
The only thing keeping Alyssa Caddie from falling to the “C” Team is the fact that she is wearing a school girl outfit. It would just send the wrong message to all the kids out there in America that slutty school girl costumes aren't hot.
15. Angela Lavoie
Love this chick. Leaves nothing out on the field. Total freak show. She’ll grind her ass right in your face and ask questions later. The captain of the B Team if you ask me.
16. Carrie Binette
The first cheerleader in the history of the Pats to have the B-O-R-I-N-G chant broken out on her mid cheer.
17. Crystal Thompson
My hands were tied on this one. I can’t make heads or tails of this chick based on this picture.
18. Jessica Wanzie
Just a total lack of effort by Jessica Wanzie. This is the type of costume I expect to see at a House Party in Allston not by a Pats Cheerleader. It looks like she pulled this thing together in five minutes. She’s lucky I didn’t put her in the C group for this total lack of effort. And don’t think I’m not going to tell her as much when I bump into her in Faneuil Hall this weekend because I know that’s totally where she hangs out.
19. Julie Warner
I don't care what you say. Julie Warner is the hottest 40 year old cheerleader in the league, end of story.
The O Line
Now we’re not into hurting people’s feelings here at the Stool so I’m not going to have any individual commentary on how ugly these remaining cheerleaders may or may not be. But we can’t just ignore them. I mean they are professional cheerleaders and I wouldn’t be doing my job if I acted like they didn’t exist. So here is the O line and let’s just say I’m not quite sure who these chicks slept with or promised not to sleep with to make this team.
Dina Yap
Stacey Mcintyre
Lindsay Bloom
Danielle Cannon
