Random Thoughts

1. The Pats got smoked on Sunday. And I’m just going to put it behind me. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to see highlights of it. I’m just going to pretend it didn’t happen. If the Pats lose to Atlanta next week then I’ll start to get a little bit worried. But right now it’s Red Sox time. Let all the other cities who don’t have two dominant sports teams worry about the NFL. For the city of Champions it’s time to focus on baseball and the defense of our world championship.

2. El Presidente has officially lived in Abington for three weeks now. What’s it like? I guess the best way to sum it up is by a sign that is posted in front of Abington High School which reads “Family Day at Giddons park has been cancelled because of Mosquitoes.” Abington; it’s my kind of town.

3. I feel like I was betrayed by INXS Rockstar. I spent the last 11 weeks living and dying with this show. I pumped it up when nobody wanted to hear about it and what do they do to reward me? They name that jerk J.D. the new lead man of the band. You know what this means don’t you? Yup, INXS has joined Britney Spears on the “Dead To The Stool” list. And trust me this is a list that you don’t want to be on. In fact I may actually create a “Dead To The Stool” link on the website just so people know I mean business. As a side note, I’d pay to see Marty Casey perform Trees in concert. I’d also pay to see Jordis.

4. The Sox shut down Keith Foulke this season which didn’t come as a surprise to anybody. Here is the thing that bothers me the most about Keith Foulke. It’s not the fact he sucks, but it’s his constant whining that he doesn’t like it here in Boston. It’s being forced to listen to him go on WEEI where he signed a contract and complain about the fact that he needs to talk baseball on the radio. It’s almost as if Foulke doesn’t realize that the reason he is here is because he wanted a huge contract and needed to come to a big market city to get it. If he wanted to make less money and have more privacy then he could have stayed in Oakland where nobody gives a damn. But he chose to take our money and come to Boston. So do me a favor Keith and spare me the sob story about how it sucks to be here. If you want to give back the money we’ll gladly let you go wherever the hell it is you want to go. If you ask me Foulke should be thanking his lucky stars that the Sox won the World Series last year, because the amount of pressure on the team this year has been amateur hour compared to past seasons. I almost wish he got the full wrath of the Fellowship of the Miserable because I want to see this man cry. The one redeeming part of this story is that I love the term “shut down”. I think corporate America should use this as a euphemism for getting fired. “Hey Bill what happened at your last job?” “Just couldn’t get my sales pitch working so they shut me down for the year”. I love it.

5. Citing two unnamed sources, the Baltimore Sun reported last Thursday that Palmeiro told a baseball arbitration panel that a teammate gave him an unknown substance, although that substance may not have been linked to his positive steroid test. Are you kidding me Raffy? How long has it been since this story first broke? At least 3 months right? And this is the best excuse that you can come up with? Somebody slipped you a roofy? Please. I’m going to pretend I didn’t even hear that. Take as much time as you need and come back when you have something better.

6. The following story was on the Inside Track last week: “REBECCA ROMIJN of ``X-Men'' and Jerry O'Connell of ``Jerry Maguire'' became engaged over the weekend in New York after dating for a year, Us Weekly reported yesterday. O'Connell's publicist, Joy Fehily, confirmed their engagement. The 32-year-old Romijn was married to TV's ``Jake in Progress'' star John Stamos for six years. They divorced in March. O'Connell and Romijn finished filming ``Man About Town'' with Ben Affleck a few months ago.”
My first reaction when reading this story was that Jerry O’Connell’s defining role couldn’t be Kush from Jerry McGuire could it? But I guess it is. More importantly Rebecca Romijn didn’t even have a cup of coffee before remarrying. I wonder what Uncle Jesse is thinking? You’re married for six years and your wife gets engaged before your pillow is even cold. I think there should be some type of law against this type of sh-t. If you want to remarry within 400 days of getting divorced then your ex can either have sex with you prima nocte style or he gets a free gut shot on the new husband. It just seems fair.

7. I keep seeing commercials for the Movie “Carlito’s Way Rise to Power” starring P Diddy. Did I mention that as far as I can tell this is a straight to video movie? Who is making decisions in the Diddy camp? I feel like everything he has touched lately has turned to mush, starting with Making the Band. Is Diddy still hot? He can’t be right?

8. Thank god that Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy are back! I don’t watch either of these shows, but the First Lady is addicted to both of them. I feel like the fact that she hogs the TV for 2 hours on Sunday Night sort of hides the amount of football I watch. After all, the last thing that we remember each weekend is her sitting in front of the TV while my 20 hours of pigskin becomes a distant memory.

9. If there is a better reoccurring theme on television right now than when Gob from Arrested Development launches into his magic routine complete with the Final Countdown playing in the background, then my name isn’t El Presidente and the Boston Sports Review doesn’t suck.

10. The cover of the Weekly Dig’s latest issue features a dude in a Red Sox hat and a dude in a Yankees hat making out. I actually think it’s a pretty clever idea in terms of generating buzz for the magazine. It’s also pretty good timing considering everything that is going on. The only thing they forgot to do was ask us to provide an article on the inside to accompany the photo because I’m not sure anybody over at the Dig can spell the word baseball never mind write about it. I wonder whether all the hippies who read the Dig even realize that there is a baseball team in Boston? They probably just figured the reason for the cover shot was because there was an article about gay marriage inside somewhere. Regardless, I’m curious what normal Stoolies think about the cover? And the next time somebody tells us that they can’t advertise in the Stool because our girls are too risqué you better believe I’m gonna whip out this Dig cover.

11. Ok, there have been rumors about a Barstool Sports VIP party that we are doing at McFadden’s for a couple weeks now. The details are finally official. This may be the best deal we’ve ever had at the Stool. Here is what is happening; Open a $25 Dollar Betting Account with VIP Sports and get on the VIP/Barstool Party List. To Register Log onto www.vipsports.com and use the Code Barstool1 to sign up.

VIP/BARSTOOL PARTY INCLUDES
- $100.00 Gift Certificate to McFadden’s for October 9th - Entry into White Card Contest. Pick all the winners vs. the spread of all the NFL games on October 9th 1st Place - 500.00 VIP Account 2nd Place - 250.00 VIP Account 3rd Place $100.00 VIP Account 5-10th Place $25.00 VIP Account - Free Barstool Sports/VIP Ugly Shirt

VIP/BARSTOOL PARTY REGISTRATION Rules:

This promotion is limited and will be blocked after first 40 respondents. Offer closes at midnight EST October 7 2005. $25 deposit cannot be withdrawn and must be put into "action" by October 21st 2005. If $25 deposit is made after the event is closed the account holder will be notified and is free to play money as they wish or withdraw funds. You must use the code Barstool1 to be eligible.

12. The Inside Track had a huge article today on all sorts of Red Sox players having pictures posted on the Internet with different girls. I’m supremely disappointed in Stoolie Nation. I thought I made it abundantly clear that I wanted all potentially incriminating photos emailed to me so I could post them online. If they think we’re smut peddlers, will give them smut peddling.

13. The dumbest story of the week has to come from the University of Iowa, where a visiting professor has received death threats for criticizing the University for painting the visiting football locker room pink. Soft pink hues were added to the visiting locker room at Iowa's Kinnick Stadium by former coach Hayden Fry in the late 1970s. Fry believed the color had a calming effect on people. As part of a new $88 million remodeling job at the stadium, designers retained that color motif, splashing pink across the walls, carpet, showers, sinks, metal lockers and even the urinals. The professor, now joined by others across campus, says using pink demeans women and perpetuates negative stereotypes of women and homosexuality. Okay, the reason I think this story is dumb isn’t because the professor received death threats. She clearly deserved them. If you want to open up your fat trap about something that has nothing to do with you then prepare for the consequences. This professor symbolizes everything that is wrong with America. You can’t do anything without some PC hippie jumping all over you. Give me a break that painting a locker room pink is demeaning to homosexuals. That’s a load of crap. Frankly I think painting an opposing locker room pink is brilliant. You want the other team coming out of the tunnel all mushy dreaming about flowers and cupcakes.

14. It’s official. After the most anticlimactic series in the history of baseball, both the Yankees and Red Sox are in the playoffs. This means that my all star break prediction of the Sox not making the playoffs without a healthy Keith Foulke was wrong. But I was right about the Yankees making it. And truth be told, I’ve been saying for the past 2 months that both teams would definitely be in the playoffs. I also think they are the two favorites to win the World Series and will meet again for the ALCS. Here is how I’d rank the playoff contenders and their odds of winning the World Series.
Red Sox 2-1 Yankees 2-1 Angels 4-1 Houston 4-1 Braves 5-1 Cardinals 5-1 White Sox 8-1 San Diego 20-1

15. People who don’t think El Presidente is a man of his word should know the following; I traded that bum Peyton Manning off my fantasy team before last week’s game. I was going to flat out cut his ass, but the commissioner of our league affectionately known as Stalin wouldn’t let me do it because of the integrity of the league. Blah, blah, blah. Therefore, instead of cutting him, I dealt Peyton Manning and Fred Taylor for Tom Brady and Ahman Green. I know what you’re thinking, El Presidente has officially lost his marbles right? Well the bottom line is this; Tom Brady is a winner and Peyton Manning is a loser. I can already tell that my locker room is a better place to be without that fraud worrying about his stats. I don’t care that Peyton Manning tossed 4 TD’s on Sunday. I don’t care that this is 4 times how many he threw for me the entire season before I dumped his ass. I don’t care that it will most likely cost me a victory in my fantasy league. I regret nothing. Sometimes you’ve got to stand up and be a man. I’d rather lose without Manning than win with him. Sure, I went to the dark side for a couple weeks when I drafted him, but I’m back now. I just can’t root for this guy on a weekly basis and look at myself in the mirror. More importantly, what example would this set for the kids?

16. The following email was sent to us from former Ms. Barstool Sports Champion and cover girl Luba and discusses a dinner that a friend of hers had with a writer from MTV’s Laguna Beach; “Courtney and I had dinner with one of the "writers" of MTV's Laguna Beach last night. He said that the show is real but they definitely set up situations. Big surprise. As most of you remember last week the gang went to Cabo. I know that some of us thought it was weird that everyone was ignoring Jessica and hanging with Alex M. Here is some background. Before Cabo they showed Jessica meeting Jason at the golf course. They hung out all day and later that night they went to a party at Talan's house. Talan was trying to pull a fast one and not invite the MTV producers to the party. At the party (while Jason is supposedly still dating Alex M) one of Alex M's friends walked in on Jessica giving Jason head in the bathroom. The friend that walked immediately called Alex M and tell her. Alex M and Taylor jump into Taylor's car to go kick Jessica's ass but get pulled over by the cops. Instead of playing it cool Taylor throws the fake id she has in her wallet into the back seat. The cops get suspicious and ask her what it was, do a search of the car, find the fake id, interrogate Alex M and get her to admit she has a fake id too. Cuff both of them and take them down to the station where MTV has to bail them out. So in one night Alex M found out that her boyfriend is a cheater and gets arrested. The next day Kristen and her sidekick (I think that her name is Alex too?) anyway, they ask Jessica if she hooked with Jason and she totally denies everything. They later find out that she lied and that's why they are upset with her in Cabo. LC and Jason are currently f'ing. Apparently Jason is a total moron (another big surprise) but he gets any girl super sprung. He failed out of senior year of high school and is not working. LC and Kristin are not enemies but also not bff. They are both trying to become famous so they are hanging in LA. Deter is a camera whore. Anytime the producers put together a scene he tries to tag along to get face time. MTV is hated around Laguna Beach. People that are not on the show are always throwing beer cans and stuff at the cameras. MTV is currently are working on a spin off for next season with different characters. Kristin is on this months 17 Magazine and also on the cover of next month's Rolling Stone "Hot Issue". She is attending USC but has not rushed. I know that you all think I am such a dork but you secretly love it....I wasn't interested in dating this guy so of course I just wanted to sit there and ask him a million more questions but I could tell he was getting a little annoyed. Anyway, had to share - thought it was funny!”

17. I know that it’s Red Sox time around here and not Patriots time, but I just couldn’t ignore all this ludicrous talk about the demise of the Patriots. I’d say 2 out of every 3 experts I heard on TV and radio said the Pats were going to miss the playoffs. Huh? Let me ask you this; who the hell is going to win the AFC East besides the Pats? The Patriots will be better than 8-8, but 8-8 will probably be good enough to win this division. After all, who has a realistic chance to be above .500 besides us? The Dolphins, Bills or Jets? HA HA HA!. I’m already booking my playoff party.

18. Detroit Lions receiver Charles Rogers has been notified that he is being suspended for four games because he is in violation of the NFL's substance abuse policy. My question is did the league test Rodgers or did they just suspend him based on looks? I mean if you look up drug abuser in the dictionary I’m sure there must be a photo of Charlie’s face. As a side note this brings the number of players suspended for drug abuse on El Presidente’s fantasy roster to two with Travis Henry being the first. Not bad considering we are only in week 4 of the season. Gotta love the NFL.

Reader Email

Email #1

Worst Dig cover ever, and for reasons that aren’t even apparent at first. It’s not the gay thing, it’s just that the only people I would enjoy seeing making out on the cover of a paper are hot chicks. I definitely don’t want to see two ugly people tongue fencing. Second, I’m pissed that the Dig has chosen to make light of fans everywhere during the most exciting week. It’s an insult to a lifestyle: that of the beer-swilling, high-fiving (yes, high-fiving), sausage inhaling, screaming fan. The Stool should run a cover of a goth chick berating a hipster with her undeserved sense of artistic accomplishment while the hipster is trying to peel off his women’s jeans by slicing them with his Buddy Holly glasses. Although, that would probably piss off less people than the current covers do.

Eric

Whoa, those are strong words considering the fact that I think the Dig routinely has the worst covers in Boston. I just don’t get what the point of those weird ass cartoons are? Anyway, you’ve got to understand that the Dig isn’t geared towards people who like sports so they don’t care that they’re making fun of us. And to be honest I thought it was kind of funny. But the bottom line is that the typical Dig reader would rather be downstairs at the Middle East than at Fenway for Game 7 of the World Series.