Random Thoughts
Thisisjersey.com - FEMALE clubbers were refused entry into Havana nightclub on Saturday night for being too fat. Police were called to calm the situation outside the Halkett Street club as bouncers and manager Martin Sayers allegedly told women to ‘go away and lose some weight’. Over 20 women are expected to give statements to the police today and a Facebook page, labelled Havana Club Jersey Discrimination and using an image from US cartoon Family Guy, has already attracted over 100 supporters calling for Islanders to boycott the club. Georgina Mason was one of the ladies refused entry. The 23-year-old, who works for Lloyds TSB, had been enjoying a night out with friends when it turned sour. ‘About five or six or us got to Havana at about 11.30 pm and the bouncers said we were not allowed in because we were too big. I told them not to be ridiculous and asked to speak to the manager,’ she said.‘When the manager came out he would not look at me directly but said that they had received too many complaints about fat people and he told me: “Go and lose some weight before you can come in – fat people are bad for business.”
I don’t get why these chicks are giving statements to the police? Ladies you’re fat. Deal with it. I mean I may not know much about life, but even I know that fat chicks aren’t allowed to party with pretty chicks. It’s Constitution 101. Seriously, you learn that shit in the 2nd grade. So these bitches can set up all the facebook pages they want. Bottom-line is if you want to party at Club Havana, hit the treadmill. Because the manager is right; fat chicks are bad for business. I’ve been saying it for years. You can’t expect to run a hot club if you got a bunch of lard ass’s clogging up the dance floor.
MILWAUKEE— Erin Andrews, the ESPN "it" babe who clearly isn't afraid to flaunt it, sauntered around the visiting clubhouse, flitting from one Cubs player to another. Her skimpy outfit -- designed to accentuate her, um, positives -- had players leering at her. Some made lewd comments under their breath. Others giggled like 12-year-olds. "Good for you, Rammie," Andrews said three hours before the game, bending forward to shake Aramis Ramirez's hand. "Good for you." She didn't ask him any questions because he was sitting on the players-only sofa; she seemingly just wanted to show "Rammie" her support. Weird. Moments later, the blonde reporter was chatting with Alfonso Soriano. At one point, she placed her hand suggestively on Soriano's left bicep. Was I reading too much into all this? I don't think so. I've been a paid observer for a long time ... and I wasn't exactly the only one who noticed. This went on for at least an hour. Finally, Piniella emerged from his office, ready for his dugout media session. As he turned the corner, there was Andrews in all of her bare-legged, high-heeled, low-necklined glory. "Hey, hey, hey! Look at this!" Piniella said, loudly and excitedly. "Are you doing a baseball game today or a modeling assignment?" Fair question. I have seen Andrews at many events in recent years and this was the first time I had witnessed anything quite like this, which is why it seemed so bizarre. Did she really feel playing the sexpot was necessary to practice journalism? She is good-looking enough and has enough of a high-profile job that she would get plenty of interviews and attention even if she showed up in a burlap sack.
This reporter would be right at home in Boston! I mean you can’t teach this type of venom and jealousy. Seriously is there any group of people in world that are more miserable, bitter, insecure or jealous than traditional sports reporters? I’ve literally never seen anything like it. Only a middle aged balding sports reporter could get sent to cover a Cub vs. Brewers game and manage to turn it into an indictment on Erin Andrews for being hot. Jealous much? Let’s call a spade a spade here. The reason this guy hates Erin Andrews is the same reason Buzz Bissinger and Dan Shaughnessy hate blogs. They know they can’t compete with them. So as they sit and watch their world crumble around them they are left to whine and moan about how we are all going to hell in a handbag at the hands of sexy sports reporters and evil bloggers. And the best part is that the gap is only going to widen in the future as they continue to get older and the demographic they need to reach gets younger. So spare me the indignation about how Erin Andrews is using sex appeal to help her get interviews. The only people who complain about this type of stuff are guys who aren't good enough writers to keep their audience.
MOULTON, Ala.—A dispute over cheap beer left one man in the hospital with stab wounds and another man charged with assault, authorities said Friday. Grady "Skip" Wilburn Dollar, 64, was accused of stabbing Mickey Joe Hill, 37, during a dispute early Thursday, said Sgt. Mark Richard of the Lawrence County Sheriff's Department. Richard said the two men had been drinking together when Dollar gave Hill $10 and told him to go to the store for more. Richard said Hill brought back only four cans of Natural Light, a low-cost brand, and Dollar got mad that he didn't get more for his money."He said, 'For $10 you could have gotten a half case,'" said Richard. "Four cans of Natural Light only cost $3 or $4."The victim then asked for one of the four beers and pushed the older man when he refused to hand one over, the investigator said. "Then the suspect went to the kitchen, got a big butcher knife and came back and stabbed him," Richard said.
Who did Mickey Joe Hill think he was dealing with here? This isn’t some pimple faced 18 year old kid you’re buying beer for dude. This is Grady “skip” Dollar we’re talking about. AKA the oldest Pabst Blue Ribbon drinker on the planet. Did Mickey really think he’d get away with bringing home only 4 beers for 10 bucks and Skip wouldn’t notice? That’s like trying to sneak the sunrise past the rooster. And then to have the balls not even to give him one when he asks? It’s almost like the Mick wanted to get stabbed in the back with a big butcher knife. I mean a man can only be pushed so far…
Boston.com - "I love it," Ramirez said after one game with the Dodgers. "I feel at home already. Put the word on me -- I want to stay here. The weather is nice, the stadium is beautiful." ... "I've already made $160 million," he said. "I like it here. I'm looking for peace. I want to stay here. At the end of the season, if the Dodgers want me to end my career here, we'll sit down and talk. Time will tell." ... "I want peace," Ramirez said. "After the game [Friday night], I went out to dinner and nobody bothers you. In Boston, you go from the stadium straight home. That's what I'm talking about. Some people recognized me, said congratulations, that's it. I could go to the movies with my family. I've got nothing against Boston, but this is what I'm looking for. The game is supposed to be fun." ...
I really don’t want to keep talking about Manny Ramirez, but I couldn’t help myself with this quote. It just sums up why Manny never liked it in Boston and deep down we never really liked him. The bottom-line is that Red Sox fans care about baseball and we care about winning. Manny doesn’t. He never did. He never will. If it were up to him, he’d rather play on a last place team that has 4 people in the crowd and no television or radio coverage as long as he was getting paid. That’s why when he did a rehab stint at Pawtucket, Theo had to beg him to come back up the Major Leagues. He loves playing when nobody cares who wins. Unfortunately Manny’s too dumb to realize that if weren’t for the fact that winning mattered in places like Boston and NY he’d probably be working at McDonalds, pumping gas in the Bronx or be dead. So instead of being thankful that we’re passionate about baseball he acts like it’s an imposition. It’s the classic syndrome of a movie star who complains about their fame even though that’s what made them rich in the first place. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Unless of course you are Manny Ramirez.
Bostonherald.com - We hear that Gisele Bundchen has a big birthday surprise in store for her QB/QT Tom Brady [ stats], who turns 31 on Sunday. According to OK!maggie, Gi has commissioned a one-of-a-kind calendar featuring herself in 12 different poses which she will bind and present to No. 12. The maggie says the Brazilian bombshell has commissioned her photographer pals to shoot her in racy lingerie, in knee socks and Brady’s jersey, and in some kind of birthday cake pose (let your imaginations run wild . . .) for August.
Fucking Tom Brady! God Damn this guy knows how to live. Ladies pay attention. This is how it's done. I don’t want to hear any more garbage about not knowing what to get your boyfriend for his birthday. Gisele has laid down the gauntlet. Hit the gym, become an international supermodel and make a custom porn calendar for him. That’s how you treat your man in Titletown USA. Anything less is unacceptable.
Yahoo.com - Beer Pong is a virtual rendition of the popular college drinking game that requires players to toss Ping-Pong balls across a table and into a cup of beer (if your cup is hit, you drink). The game was designed for the popular Nintendo Wii platform, and its maker had planned to release it as the first game in its new Frat Party Games series. But concerned parents began sending angry letters to JV Games and Nintendo - Connecticut attorney general Richard Blumenthal even got in on the action, sending his own missives to the companies - until JV Games agreed to change the title of the game to Pong Toss and fill its pixelated cups with water. "The controversy isn't entirely surprising. The point of beer pong is to get your friends drunk - and parents and university administrators generally frown on that sort of thing. Last fall, GeorgetownUniversity banned beer pong, specially made beer-pong tables and inordinate numbers of Ping-Pong balls and any other alcohol-related paraphernalia in its on-campus dorms - even in the rooms of students of legal drinking age. Last year, DartmouthCollege banned water pong, the real-world version of Pong Toss, because of the risk of water intoxication - it's no joke, as an H2O overdose can be fatal. "I know that [water pong] seems like a good balance between the Dartmouth drinking culture and just trying to have fun," Kristin Deal, a Dartmouth community director, wrote in an e-mail to students announcing the prohibition. "However, it can be just as dangerous, if not more so." Could this mark the beginning of the end of beer pong? The game does have plenty more critics outside the walls of academia. The town of Belmar, N.J., for example, outlawed outdoor beer pong in 2005 after the city council passed an ordinance declaring that it exposed unconsenting neighbors to "foul language, rowdy and disorderly behavior and to examples of the consumption of alcohol under circumstances that are detrimental."
Shit like this never ceases to amaze me. Listen if you want to crack down on under age drinking, that’s fine. And if Dartmouth wants to crack down on excessive water drinking that’s cool to. But to think that by banning Beirut you’re somehow going to curb college drinking is honestly the most asinine thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I mean by using that logic college kids shouldn’t be allowed to own quarters, cups, dice, cards, televisions, music, gas grilles or basically anything else in the world that could promote alcohol. Listen, the bottom line is that kids who want to get fucked up are always going to get fucked up. The only way to stop it is to get more police out on the street. Because only a fool would believe that by banning Beirut you’re somehow keeping somebody who wants to drink from drinking. It doesn’t work in Belmar NJ and it won’t work in dorm rooms across the country.
News.com.au - WITH just eight days before the Beijing Olympics begin, not much could overshadow incredible leaked footage of the 2008 Games opening ceremony - until we got video of Garry Linnell eating a penis.
See this is why some people claim that the Chinese are a master race. Not only did they invent erotic massage parlors, but they know how to handle controversy. Somebody leaks the video of the 2008 Opening Ceremony and what do you do? You respond by leaking video of people eating penises. It's brilliant in it's simplicity. It just proves the ancient Chines proverb that watching people eat cocks trumps watching the Opening Ceremonies 9 out of 10 times and twice on Sundays.
ATLANTIC CITY, N.J.—Yes, Michael Wax stunk. He's the first to admit it. The 440-pound New York City man said he was playing poker in an Atlantic City casino for 17 hours Tuesday and didn't have time to clean up. He understands why grossed-out gamblers complained about his body odor, but said he didn't deserve stinky treatment from the casino that asked him to leave. Wax said he told casino officials: "There's no question I stink. I'm not denying it. I do have an odor. I've been playing for 17 hours." When the Brooklyn man tried to retake his seat at the table, he said a manager told him to leave. He said he asked for a free room to freshen up, and the casino refused. He promptly filed a complaint about his treatment with the Casino Control Commission. His complaint will be reviewed to determine whether any state gambling laws or regulations were violated, a commission spokesman said Wednesday. Wax said his instincts tell him to find a different casino to patronize, but he likes gambling at the Borgata. He said the casino was out of line to tell him he stinks in front of other patrons. "I would like an apology," Wax said
This guy is from the Bronx? I have a hard time believing that. Anyway rule #1 of weighing 440 pounds is don’t go 17 hours without showering or having somebody hose you down. The Casino was totally within their rights to give this guy the boot. If he wanted to play so bad he should have gotten his own room and cleaned himself up. But don’t say you were discriminated against because you have BO. The bigger question is how did this guy even fit into the chair to begin with? I’m calling bullshit on him weighing 440 lbs. I mean that’s fucking huge! Something stinks to high heaven with this story. (pun intended)
PS – While we’re on the subject of Casino rights I’ve never understood why they can kick out legit card counters. It makes no sense to me on any level. There is nothing illegal about it. It doesn’t seem like you should be able to penalize people for being smart. I mean they don’t kick out the idiots who hit on 16 vs. a 6.
KATY, TX (KTRK) -- More than a dozen members of a Katy ISD cheerleading squad stand accused of taking the hazing of underclassmen way too far. "When a girl (BEEP) in her pants and puts her pants on another girl's head, that's just disgusting," said the sister of a Morton Ranch High School junior varsity cheerleader.
This time the seniors stand accused of taking hazing too far. The JV girls claim the seniors bound them and tossed them in a pool. "Once you duct tape someone's hands, blindfold them throw them in a pool, start flicking their body parts, that's way too far," she said.
What the hell has gotten into Texas? "Bleeping in your pants and putting it on another girl's head is going to far!" "Duct taping a girl's hands and blindfolding her and tossing her in a pool is going to far!" Waa waa. Boo frickin' hoo. What, are they going soft down there? Cheering used to mean something in Texas. It used to be part of the culture. Cheerleading marked the time; A reminder of all that once was good and could be again. Now what do they expect the cheer squads to do? How are they supposed to weed out the weak ones, the ones that aren't willing to pay the price? By forming human pyramids and holding Booster Club bake sales? Save that crap for sissy states like Vermont where cheering doesn't count for anything, Pinko because this is Katy, TX dammit. You can be damned sure back when Roger Clemens was going to school down there they beat the cheerleader pledges with Louisville Sluggers and had them gangbang the football team and no one whined about it "going too far." What's the Lone Star State coming to?
Foxnews.com - Two women were charged with prostitution in Camden County on Thursday after they were arrested in a sting operation at a Lake Ozark hotel last week. Two other women were also arrested, and three of the women are pregnant. Alexandra Wells and Allysia Waldrop were both charged on Thursday. Waldrop is pregnant, but is not known if Wells is also. The undercover bust went down at a Lake Ozark area hotel after the sheriff's department received several reports that pregnant women were advertising prostitution on an internet advertising site. One of the women arrested was eight months pregnant, another six months pregnant, and another was three months pregnant. They ranged in age from 18 to 22 years old.
FYI. I just puked. Maybe this is what Jose Guillen was talking about when he said his "life is a living hell" in Kansas City. I mean I think we can all agree when the local prostitutes are pregnant before you even bang em, life has pretty much hit rock bottom.
Yahoo.com - Finals MVP Paul Pierce, who recently spent three days at a ball camp in Madrid, is making, ahem, news about what he said to a Spanish reporter. The money translation, via RedsArmy: "Q: Is Kobe really the best player in the world? Pierce: I don't think Kobe is the best player. I'm the best player. There's a line that separates having confidence and being conceited. I don't cross that line but I have a lot of confidence in myself." Surprisingly, Spurs fans seem more upset by this than actual Lakers fans. (Update:OK, Lakers Nation is pretty upset, too.)
Our boys at Red’s Army pretty much nailed this one. This is much to do about nothing. I mean what do people want Paul Pierce to say? That Kobe is the best? That the NBA Finals were just an aberration? Doesn’t every great player secretly believe they are the best? That’s part of what makes them great. But all that stuff aside, the difference here is that Paul Pierce is probably the best player in the world. And if he's not he’s certainly on the short list. After all, he was the best player in the NBA playoffs. He did dominate LeBron James and Kobe Bryant. He did win the Finals MVP award. He easily could have been the MVP of the season. Or did I dream all of this? So what’s so outrageous about him saying he’s the best player in the world? What's that old expression? It ain't bragging if you can do it? I mean it’s more outrageous to claim Kobe Bryant is the best player in the world at this point don’t you think? Bottom line is that the proof is in the pudding folks. Anybody say they are the best. The difference is Paul backed it up this year which is something that Dr. Colorado hasn’t done since Shaq left town.
EDGEWATER, Fla. -- A 43-year-old woman was arrested after being seen running at a Central Florida public park naked during a risque game of "truth or dare" with teens, police said. Jennifer Russell, of New Smyrna Beach, faces charges of lewd and lascivious conduct after the incident earlier this week at Whistle Stop Park in Edgewater. Russell was spotted running near a park bathroom carrying a shirt while wearing only a bra, according to Edgewater police investigators. The teens who were with Russell said she provided alcohol and was going to expose her breasts to them, according to police.
What type of Nazi cop arrests a cougar for running naked through a park during a game of truth or dare? I mean this is still America right? This arrest is wrong on like 23 different levels. First of all it was truth or dare. Everybody knows the normal rules of society don't apply when you choose dare. Second of all it’s a cougar! Third of all she was seducing innocent teenagers with booze and the promise of boobs. I mean if you’re going to throw a Cougar in jail every time they try to get a teenager drunk and hook up with them, the whole cougar race will go extinct. Is that what we want? It’s bad enough that the Euro is kicking the dollar’s ass. The last thing we can afford to do is to lose the American Cougar.
(AP) BERLIN - Police say two officers who responded to complaints about a raucous weekend party in western Germany were mistaken for male strippers by the female guests. Simmern police spokesman Bernd Hoffmann says neighbors called police around 12.45 a.m. Sunday to complain about noise from a birthday party in their building. A round of applause from the apartment resident — who had just turned 30 — and her friends greeted two officers who went to investigate. Hoffmann said Monday that "they thought the policemen were dressed like that because they were strippers. It took them a while to realize they were real police officers."
You could fill a library with the stuff I don't understand about Germans. But I do know this: nothing makes them hornier than authority figures in uniforms. I'm not saying the Nazis were a bundle of laughs, but give them credit for knowing how to get girls. No German women of that ere ever had sexual fantasies about being captured, tied up and sexually ravaged by Ghandi. Therefore I'm guessing this goes on all the time with the Berlin PD. They probably can't answer a Disturbing the Peace call without a bunch of horny hausfraus demanding they strip down and put on a show. If the call came in at 12:45 I'd be astonished to hear the cops made it back to the precinct before 7AM and that Bernd Hoffmann was back there by 7:30 and the whole thing was on Pornhub by 9:00.
LOWELL -- The owner of one of downtown's most popular bar is facing charges he was drinking in the bar early Thursday morning with two other men and a prostitute, and that he assaulted an officer who was investigating. Thomas Economou, 52, of Tewksbury, owner of The Dubliner, at 197 Market St., admits he was in the bar drinking at about 5 a.m., but says police have blown the allegations out of proportion.
Tommy Economou can issue all the denials he wants, if that helps him sleep at night. But everyone knows that the only reason you would ever buy a bar in Lowell is so you can continue to drink after-hours, crank blow, and keep the girls with low morals and alcohol problems locked inside. Quite frankly, I would have found the story ten times more scandalous if the hooker wasn't there. Three dudes drinking and busting lines at 5 AM without the presence of hookers would be pretty pathetic, especially on the eve of the Lowell Folk Fest. The smart move, in lieu of denials, would be to graciously accept the free publicity and maybe suggest that blow and hookers are a regular staple at your joint…which would be the only acceptable reason to be drinking in Lowell in the first place.
DENTON, TX— Investigators are looking into how a young boy managed to slip out of a Dentonday care center unnoticed, then cross two busy roads and end up a half-mile away at a Hooters restaurant on Tuesday afternoon. The five-year-old boy walked out of the Imagination Station child care center in the 2300 block of San Jacinto Boulevardnear Golden Triangle Mall. He then crossed busy Dallas Drive to go to a RaceTrac gas station to purchase a soft drink and snacks. After leaving the station, he ended up in the Hooters parking lot about a half-mile away. The restaurant's general manager Brian Mason and his employees spotted the child shortly before 5 p.m. Tuesday.
"We kept him in the back coloring and kept him pretty occupied until the police showed up," he said.
The five-year-old has not been back to the day care since the incident.
Whoa, whoa - they have coloring books at Hooters? Who knew the girls there knew how to color? Amazing. Regardless, it’s obvious why this (scumbag) kid hasn’t been back to daycare since. His parents know he doesn’t need it. Their little Junior is only 5 years old and he already knows the popcorn shrimp and fake tits at Hooters are far, far better than the popcorn shrimp and fake tits at daycare. I mean it’s close, but you still gotta go Hooters on both. Also, if he walked into a music studio or something they’d be calling him a child prodigy, instead everybody’s going bullshit because he walked into a Hooters. “Ooooh, Hooters. Ooooh..” It’s not like he walked into a crack den here. Last I checked, Hooters is just a busty chain restaurant with cheap eats and "questionable" desserts. Worst the kid would’ve gotten was a heart attack.
MILWAUKEE—A Milwaukee man was accused of shooting his lawn mower because it wouldn't start. Keith Walendowski, 56, was charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed. According to the criminal complaint, Walendowski said he was angry because his Lawn Boy wouldn't start Wednesday morning. He told police quote, "I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want." A woman who lives at Walendowski's house reported the incident. She said he was intoxicated Walendowski could face up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted.
What are we in Communist China or something? Listen if a dude wants to shoot his lazy ass lawn mower for not starting than more power to him. How else you going to teach it a lesson? I bet that punk purrs like a kitten next time he turns it on. And what’s up with that bitch that tattled on him?Funny way to say thank you for trying to mow the lawn.
Smoking Gun--Meet Vitaly Kovtun. According to Utah cops, Kovtun was behind the wheel last month when a car pulled up to his SUV at an intersection. After gesturing to the 22-year-old Kovtun to roll down his window, passenger Stephen Cox asked, "Excuse me, sir, do you have any Grey Poupon?" Kovtun responded, police charge, by pulling a handgun from his glove compartment, cocking the weapon, and leveling it at the prankster's auto. "Here's your Grey Poupon, roll your f***ing windows up," Kovtun said, according to a probable cause affidavit. Kovtun was charged yesterday for the June 18 incident, having been tracked down by cops after another occupant of the second car wrote down his license plate number. When questioned by police, Kovtun admitted that he, "pulled out his handgun and racked the slide back towards the victims in a threatening manner," according to the July 22 District Court affidavit. Charged with felony aggravated assault, Kovtun was booked yesterday into the Salt Lake County jail, where the below mug shot was snapped.
Are you shitting me? People are still doing that Grey Poupon bit? No wonder Vitaly pulled a piece on them. Listen I'd be pissed too if somebody broke that weak ass shit out on me. I mean if you’re going to waste my time by having me roll down my window so you can crack a joke, at least have the fucking common decency to update your material. Otherwise you’re basically begging for a gun to the face. If anybody should get arrested it should be these Gary Gulman wannabes.
PITTSBURGH (CBS) ― In last Sunday's Pittsburgh Triathlon, there were a lot of individual competitors and teams with competitors for each event. One team, however, stood out. That team contained three friends: Jim on the Bike, Ned doing the running, and Craig Dietz doing the swimming. However, Dietz was born with no arms or legs. In the end, he finished 275th out of 308 participants. "To think that I was ahead of 35 people just blew my mind," said Dietz. "I would have been happy with 307th, beating one. Not being the last person out of the water would have been a good day for me."
Congrats to Craig Dietz. What an inspiration, blah, blah, blah. But seriously he beat 35 people? Listen, I don’t want to take anything away from the guy but how the fuck is that possible? Let me just say this. I haven’t worked out in 3 years. I get tired walking my dog to take a shit. My back hurts when I do the dishes. (literally) But I promise you if I see some dude bobbing in the Alleghany River next to me with no arms and no legs there is NO fucking way that I let him beat me out of the water. It’s just about personal pride really. I mean how can you go through life being the guy who lost to the guy with no limbs?
NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - When it comes to purchasing lottery tickets, making people feel poor will prompt them to spend more money on a chance to become rich, American researchers said. They found that people who were convinced they were earning a low salary bought nearly twice as many lottery tickets compared to others who were made to feel more affluent. "When people are made to feel subjectively poor, they end up buying more lottery tickets which is somewhat perverse since every time you buy a lottery ticket, it's the equivalent of burning money," said George Loewenstein, a professor at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania who advised the research team. "It's certainly paradoxical that making people feel poor means they are more likely to burn money," he added in an interview. A recent report by the Commission on Thrift, a project of the private, non-profit think tank Institute for American Values, said that U.S. households with incomes under $12,400 spend an average of $645 on lotteries.
First of all I'm calling bullshit on that last statistic. People who make under $12,400 a year spend about $6,000 on lottery tickets. That $645 number has to be a typo. And #2, why do they even have studies like this? I didn't need Carnegie Mellon to tell me poor people play the lottery more than rich people. I mean how many times are you going to see Bill Gates in line at the Colorado "Loaf n' Jug"? Not many. Here's an idea - how about a study on how dudes have gone 15 years without winning at Keno? There's something to research. I don't know, I guess it is kind of ironic that in a study about wasting money, these people just wasted a shitload.
CBC.com - A judge in New Zealand fed up with parents bestowing bizarre names on their offspring has given a girl named Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii the chance to change hers. Judge Rob Murfitt has ruled that the girl, 9, become a ward of the court so her name can be changed. The girl was involved in a custody battle between her separated parents. In his ruling made public Thursday, Murfitt expressed concern at the "very poor judgment" shown by the parents in selecting the moniker. "It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily," said Murfitt. The court heard that the girl was so embarrassed by her name that she never even told her friends. Instead, she told people to call her K, her lawyer told the family court in the port city of New Plymouth, located on the west coast of the North Island. In his ruling, Murfitt cited a list of strange names given to children in New Zealand. He said names blocked by registration officials included Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit, while Number 16 Bus Shelter and Violence were allowed.
I got to be honest. At first I was thinking that this ruling was going to set a dangerous precedent. I mean it seemingly opens the door for kids everywhere just change their name on a whim because they don't like it. But that was when I thought the girls name was “Talula Does The Hula” and she was from Hawaii. But after further review this chicks full name is “Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii” but she’s from New Zealand. Well that doesn’t make any sense. Now wonder the judge let her change her name. Still I don’t get what was wrong with “Yeah Detroit” and “Sex Fruit” though. I mean how does “Number 16 Bus Shelter” slide by but “Yeah Detroit” doesn’t? New Zealand has to tighten it up a bit. There is too much grey area on what gets approved and what doesn’t.
MILFORD, Mass.—Dozens of pairs of pantyhose have been left near a Milford school bus stop -- causing sheer annoyance in the neighborhood. The pantyhose -- sometimes new, sometimes used -- has been left on Camp Street for more than two years. They're almost always black and queen sized. Resident Laurie Warich told the Milford Daily News she picked up 43 pairs in one day. Police say they've done some investigating and talked to one suspect. But Chief Thomas O'Loughlin said the only crime is littering -- and they don't have the resources to focus on the case. That's left some neighbors discussing doing their own amateur sting with video cameras and walkie talkies to catch the culprit, whom they've dubbed the "Pantyhose Bandit."Warich said the pantyhose dumping is "weird, it's odd, it's scary for the kids."
Here is a question for you. Who is crazier? The pantyhose bandit or the lady who picked up the 43 pairs she dropped in one day. Keep in mind they were queen sized which means you got a 50/50 chance of throwing your back out with all that heavy lifting. Anyway what’s the deal with Milford? What does the Police Chief mean they don’t have the resources to focus on the case? It’s not like we’re not dealing with Billy the Kid here. I mean how hard could it be to catch the Pantyhose Bandit and tell them to stop doing it? I bet the neighbors catch this person within ten minutes. Because it’s my experience that once you get walkie talkies involved it’s generally lights out for criminals.
DailyNews.com - The winner of the U.S. Air Guitar regional competition in Brooklyn rocked so hard during a daredevil performance that doctors had to amputate a toe she broke during the gig. Taryn Kapronica - who goes by the stage name Bettie B. Goode - slammed into a metal chair 15 feet above a confused Williamsburg audience just seconds into her July 9 performance of Scorpion's "Rock You Like a Hurricane." "My foot got caught in the chair leg, and as I fell over the chair, my toe was dislocated and basically all the tissue was totally ripped off," explained Kapronica, 27. "By the time I hit the ground and looked down, my toe was pretty much gone and just hanging from a thread." And suddenly, the Long Island City, Queens, resident who works in a local event space became a guitar hero. As a crowd of more than 200 audience members watched in horror, mouths agape and eyes wide open, Kapronica - clad in leopard-print rocker gear - kept right on rockin'. She performed for 50 seconds longer while blood dripped across the stage. "I could feel the blood trickle down my foot and between my toes, but I refused to look down at it," said Kapronica. "I just kept on air guitaring." Fellow competitor Tom Corsillo - who performs under the nom de rock Mitt Umlaut - said Kapronica's gutsy performance is already the stuff of legend. "In those 60 seconds, she solidified her place in air guitar lore, and really became a hero to a lot of people," Corsillo said.
See this is the beauty of sports. Whether it be Jon Lester pitching a no hitter after battling cancer, Tiger Woods winning the US Open with a torn ACL or Derek Redmond pulling a hamstring in the Olympics and having his father came out of the stands to help him finish, you just never know when true greatness will emerge. And nothing proves this point more than Bettie B Goode’s performance at the Air Guitar Regionals. This is one of those transcendent events that nobody in attendance will soon forget. Sure anybody can play air guitar when healthy. But how many people would have“kept on air guitaring” after a horrific metal chair accident left them with 9 toes, blood gushing everywhere and 60 seconds still left in the song? The answer is nobody except Bettie B. Goode who will now rightfully live on in Air Guitar folklore forever. Somewhere Ronnie Lott is smiling.
PROVIDENCE, R.I. -- State Police arrested a man early Tuesday whose blood alcohol level allegedly was .491 -- more than six times the legal limit -- which they believe is the highest ever recorded in Rhode Island for someone who wasn't dead. Stanley Kobierowski, 34, of North Providence, was arrested after he drove into a highway message board on Interstate 95 in Providence, Maj. Steven O'Donnell said. A Breathalyzer test showed Kobierowski had blood alcohol readings of .489 followed by .491, O'Donnell said, the highest readings anyone at the State Police or the Department of Health could remember for someone who didn't end up dead. The legal limit in Rhode Island is .08. A blood alcohol of .3 is classified as "stupor," .4 is "comatose" and .5 is considered fatal, according to the health department.
Got to love the Rhode Island Staties. They nail the guy for a .489 breathalyzer test, realize they are may be on the verge of setting a world record, so they tee him up again and like a true champion Stanley delivers with a .491 on the second try. Sure the IOC is going to question how he gained those .002 percentage points in the span of a couple seconds but when you push your body to the limit, you'd be amazed what your body can do. I just hope it was enough to get him the World Record or at least the National title. Does anybody know if anybody has ever beat .491 before? And just like with competitive eating if the person in question had a reversal of fortune or in this case died it doesn’t count.
SAN LUIS OBISPO,Calif.—Two practical jokers are behind bars for setting their passed-out drinking buddy's crotch ablaze while boozing in Grover Beach. Matthew Craig Pillers and Jack Brent Nicholas Keiffer pleaded no contest to a felony great bodily injury charge. Prosecutors say the 22-year-old Pillers, a parolee, was sentenced to two years in prison and the 19-year-old Keiffer got 45 days in San Luis Obispo County jail. Elliot Tuleja was passed out when the men poured cologne on the man's groin and set him on fire on Jan. 18. Tuleja had second-degree burns on his testicles.
First of all, this ain’t no banana in the tail pipe. It ain’t no “teabag” either. Hell, it’s not even a whoopie cushion on the chair. They lit this guy’s nuts on fire! Jesus, what kind of gang initiation was this for because I’d stay away from these people. I mean what possesses one man to light another man’s nuts on fire? Unless it was on a dare. Everybody knows, anybody who turns down a dare is a pussy.
SARATOGA SPRINGS -- A 19-year-old man must make an apology to the city of Saratoga Springs for dressing as an inflatable 6-foot penis and then parading across SPAC's stage at the high school's graduation last month. Calvin Morett of 337 Pyramid Pine Estates must also pay to have the letter published in the Saratogian newspaper as part of a City Court sentence that calls for him to pay $95 in court fees and perform 24 hours of community service. Morett had previously pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct, a violation. Morett purchased the full-body costume and sprayed some of the 5,000 people in the crowd with Silly String, police said. Morett graduated from Saratoga Springs High School last year.
I’m sick and tired of these half asssed pranks. I mean big deal. You dressed up as an inflatable penis and shot silly string at people during a high school graduation. Been there, done that. You want to impress me? How about escaping afterwards? How about creating an air of mystery on who that penis guy was? That’s the difference being ordinary and legendary. These modern day streakers wouldn’t know showmanship if it slapped them in the dick no pun intended, but intended. Makes me sad.
PROVIDENCE, R.I. - Two weeks after Joshua Lipton was charged in a drunken driving crash that seriously injured a woman, the 20-year-old college junior attended a Halloween party dressed as a prisoner. Pictures from the party showed him in a black-and-white striped shirt and an orange jumpsuit labeled "Jail Bird." Someone posted them on the social networking site Facebook. Above it, Sullivan rhetorically wrote, "Remorseful?" And that offered remarkable evidence for Jay Sullivan, the prosecutor handling Lipton's drunken-driving case. Sullivan used the pictures to paint Lipton as an unrepentant partier who lived it up while his victim recovered in the hospital. A judge agreed, calling the pictures depraved when sentencing Lipton to two years in prison.
What’s the big deal? It’s not like the chick died in the car crash right? And it wasn’t just like this was a random party either. It was Halloween. What was this kid supposed to do? Not go? Not dress as a jailbird? Let the kid live already. Seriously though I’m not sure any invention in the history of mankind has exposed the stupidity of America’s youth more than Myspace and Facebook. Honestly it never ceases to amaze me what people put on their profiles and then complain about after the fact. It’s almost like some people haven’t grasped the concept of the Internet yet. Yes what you put online can be viewed by other people. No you can’t sue entrepreneurial smut publishers who then exploit those photos for personal gain.