Knee Jerk Reactions to Week 2: Pats vs. Jets

 

*This was another stellar week by the O-line.  I can't believe this is the same unit that got prison-shanked by the Giants in February.  The only one who struggled yesterday was Dan Koppen, who literally had his hands full with Kris Jenkins.  But in fairness, no one can block Jenkins 1-on-1.  He's one cupcake away from having Sarah Palin open up drilling on the north slope of his ass.

 

*The leader in the clubhouse for The Play That Gets Shown Over and Over Again on the 2008 Pats Championship DVD was Adalius Thomas' 4th qtr. sack of Brettfavre and Leon Washington.  The three of them were like those history buffs who play out old battles doing a perfect reenactment of the Andre the Giant vs. the British Bulldogs from 1987.

 

*The only bad thing about a new NFL season is it means another four months of "Two and a Half Men" promos.  How is that even still on?  By now, shouldn't they have replaced the fat kid with Heather Locklear or Ted McGinley?

 

*A thought on Matt Cassel.  There are two kinds of comics, writers and performers.  "A great writer" is kind of a euphemism for a guy who maybe doesn't have a great stage presence, but his material is brilliant.  Think Steven Wright.  A "performer" is one who, if you read his material it wouldn't sound the least bit funny, but he pulls it off on stage through charisma or whatever.  Dane Cook for example.  A QB can't afford to be one or the other.  He has to be both.  To be great, he has to be technically proficient, make the reads and the throws and so forth, but he's also got to act the part.  Be a leader, inspire confidence and make the guys around him believe in him.  This is a convoluted way of saying Cassel has proven he can run an offense, but he's got to get better at acting like a great QB.  That means every time he fails to pick up a first down, we don't need him doing the Ben Gazzarra death scene from "Road House."

 

*But Cassel deserves a giant, Peter Kingish buttkiss for the way he played.  If the Pats dumbed down the Offense for him, you could've fooled me.  They might have run more (how great was Lamont Jordan's "Pound the ball" hand gesture in the 4th qtr, by the way?).  And they seemed to run fewer shotguns, but they were the first team in history to take more than 50% of their snaps out of the shotgun last year, so anything will seem like a drop off.  But the bubble screens and the short crossing routes were right out of 2004 Tom Brady.  Once he gets confident in his reads, we should be expect to see more deep balls like the one Randy Moss dropped.

 

*The Jets cheerleaders in the flight attendant outfits looked very much like real stewardi.  That's not meant as a compliment.

 

 *Aside from a couple of long runs where he managed to break containment and pick up yards to the outside, Thomas Jones looked very much like a 30 year old RB.  In the NFL, on a RBs 30th birthday, they should sing to him, cut the cake, then take him out back behind the woodshed and give him two in a the hat like Old Yeller.  It might sound cruel, but it's really the humane thing to do.

 

*I still can't wrap my brain around Charlie Weis and Brady getting the same injury in the same week.  With Weis facing Michigan, no less.  It's one of those weird synchronicity things.  Like how Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin hid in a book warehouse, but Kennedy was shot from a book warehouse and his assailant hid in a theater.  And to make things stranger, right next to Notre Dame Stadium is the campus bookstore and right next to Gillette is a Showcase Delux theater.  Zoinks, this is like starting to really give me the creeps, Scoob.

 

*"Brettfavre loves his Wrangler jeans.  And if they fit him with John Madden's head up his ass, they'll fit you, too."

 

*It's starting to look like the only thing standing in the way of the Pats having a truly great running game might be their lead runner.  The difference between the way Maroney runs and the rest of the backs is startling.  They look like the same zone running plays, run the same way behind the same blockers, but you can use the interval between the time he gets the ball and gets to the line as an egg timer.  Watching him decide which hole to hit is like being at Macy's with my Trophy Wife while she's looking through the clothing racks.  Eventually you want to scream at him that he doesn't have to make the perfect choice, just pick something and let's get the hell out of here.

 

*Ever since Brady went down I felt like Kevin Faulk would be the key to the Cassel Era.  They can pound the ball with Sammy Morris and Lamont Jordan, but on those 3rd down situations, everything would hinge on Faulk.  He'll be the the check down receiver, the one that stays in for blitz pickup, the one that chips the end and then releases.  And it's crucial that he and Cassel are on the same page.  There's no better example of that than the screen pass he caught.  Cassel had dropped back to pass 3 times in the 3rd qtr and been sacked each time.  So on 3rd & 5 against a Jets 4-3, Cassel dropped back.  Koppen, Logan Mankins and Billy Yates all peeled off their blocks and set up a screen across the middle.  Cassel dumped it behind the line to Faulk, who had David Harris spying him.  Yates came across and barrelled into Harris like Ike hitting Tina... I mean, Galveston.  Koppen flattened the Safety coming up (Eric Smith, maybe?) and Faulk was off.  Perfect call, perfect execution.  It the Pats are going to do anything, they absolutely need Faulk to lay off the spleefs the rest of the year.

 

*Also on that play, Vernon Gholston tried coming from the back side but Matt Light handled him with ease.  It was the only time I noticed the kid on the field all day.  Jerod Mayo has fit into the NFL's most complicated scheme seamlessly, and the guy everyone wanted the Pats to draft is invisible.  I give it three weeks before the NY tabloids start calling him "Ghost-on" if they haven't already.

 

*If I had to choose one thing in all of professional sports that the average guy can do easily, I'd pick the Pooch Punt.  It doens't require strength or speed or stamina, just the ability to kick a ball half-assed.  So why does Chris Hanson find it so difficult?  Why is is that every time the Pats are punting within 50 yards of their opponent's end zone he turns into Clark Kent at Smallville High?  The only thing that redeemed him was Ben Graham shanked a 28 yarder and won this round of "America's Next Top Out-of-Work Punter."

 

*Did you notice that lull in the game around the end of the 3rd qtr/ beginning of the 4th?  When the teams were exchanging punts and Simms and Nance began running out of stats and folksy stories?  Even I got bored.  I was wating for Simms to go all Fred Willard in "Best in Show" and say something like "You know Jim, Dean Pees is the only coordinator in the National Football League whos name is a complete sentence."  Feel free to use that as your own, Randy Cross.

 

*Adalius Thomas is playing like every bit the guy we hoped he'd be back when Ron Borges was telling us he'd be a bust.  He's reading plays, getting to the ball quick and smacked D'Brickashaw Ferguson around all day... D'Molished him.  On a 1st down, the Jets lined up in a strong set, with the FB offset to the TE side.  Thomas read it as a Flash Play, which is the Pats term for when the play is run back toward the weak side.  Thomas fired right in from the outside untouched and blew the play up.  I think the days of experimenting with him at Mike LB are long over.

 

*I'm surprised the Pats showed such a vanilla look on Defense.  But they played a straight 3-4 virtually the whole game.  With Deltha O'Neal at the starting CB spot.  The only times they switched from vanilla to chocolate or strawberry was on 3rd downs, when they replaced Wilfork with Mike Wright, Ty Warren with Jarvis Green and Bruschi came out usually for Gary Guyton.  And by my count about a third of the time they brought Rodney Harrison up at the "Robber" spot, up tight to the line to disguise whether he was in coverage or blitzing.

 

*But with Favre under center, it doesn't take exotic looks to force him into doing something stupid.  He volunteers for that duty, and Meriweather's INT was text book Brettfavre. It was set up a couple of plays earlier when Favre made one of those improbable plays that only he makes, which ultimately leads to him playing right into a defense's hands.  3rd & 22 Vrabel showing blitz first to the outside and then into the B gap. Harrison was tight on the Y (slot) receiver.  The Pats rushed Green, Wright and Seymour, who beat a double team of Alan Faneca and Ferguson.  Wright speed rushed Nick Mangold and chased Favre out of the pocket on the goal line.  So Favre rolled out and, in a full gallop threw a Jason Kidd jump pass 40 yards in the air.  Unbelievable. 

 

*Now fast forward to the INT.  2nd & 25, the Jets lined up in a Trip Set left, with Bubba Franks tight to the line, Jericho Cotchery outside and Chris Baker in the slot.  Franks ran a Hitch to the sidelines.  Baker and Cotchery crossed with Cotchery going deep on a Flag route (in the direction of the pylon) and Baker underneath.  Favre's eyes locked on the deep guys so Meriweather fell off Franks and dropped into bracket coverage on Baker, with him in front and Ellis Hobbs in back.  They didn't show it, but I'm fairly sure there was Safety help deep as well.  In other words, the Pats had this play completely blanketed, and the smart thing would've been to hit the open guy on the Hitch route, which every QB is told to do.  With Brettfavre, like Spinal Tap said, "There's a fine line between clever and stupid."

 

*Immediately after the INT, the NFL Color Analysts Association issued the following statement: "Give Brettfavre credit, he was trying to make a play."

 

*No kidding, after Washington broke five tackles on a play, Simms actually said "You've got to give Brettfavre and these Jets coaches a lot of credit..."  It's like it's written in their contracts that you have to praise the guy whether or not he's actually done anything praise worthy.  He's Football Obama.

 

*The "Hitch" play by the way, is named that because the DB is supposed to react like a guy who expected to see a movie starring a really cool actor, but it turns out to be an insufferable chick flick instead.  Variations include "The Preacher's Wife," "Prof of Life" and "What Women Want."