Knee Jerk Reactions to Week 13: Pats vs Baltimore

Things to consider while wondering if Ray Lewis put the names of the two people he killed on his eyeblack back in 2000:

*Sometimes you find yourself typing a sentence you never thought you would: "Eric Alexander saved the game."

*For all the key moments, the turning point of the game came with 12 minutes to go. On the second Baltimore possession of the 2nd half, the Pats defense had probably their worst exhibition of tackling since probably last year's loss to Miami. Baltimore was blowing them off the line and shredding them between the tackles. It was at that point that the Pats brought Rodney Harrison as the 8th man in the box and the Ravens possession from that point on went: INT, punt, punt, Alexander's heroics, end of game.

*On the drive prior to that, McGahee's TD was set up by Le'Ron McClain who had a superb kick-out block on Adalius Thomas while Jonathan Ogden digested Jarvis Green. The play created a broadcast television first: live, mutual, simultaneous orgasms by Tony Kornheiser and Ron Jaworski. And if you listened close, you could hear Shula saying he wished he'd taken his Cialis so he could be Pivot Man in the circle jerk.

*Is there anything more tired than Ray Lewis' pregame chest-thumping woofing routine? Maybe that went over big with America's simpleton population when the team was on a role back in 2000, but when you're 4-7, it just gets sort of played out and sad. But he's married to it so he can't get rid of it. The paying customers don't care how tired it is, the consider it part of the ticket price. It's Lewis' "Margaritaville."

*I'm not saying Lewis' stats get padded, but he got credit for an assist when the ref made the sack in the Bud Light commercial.

*You know it's a blustery night when the reporter chicks are covering $200 hairdo's with bigass wool hats and thick scarves. I guess America's sideline cupcakes want more Wendy Nix, less Windy Necks.

*Nice to see the end of another gutsy year by Steve "Die Hard" McNair, who had a season ending shoulder injury on the coin flip.

*The Ravens will no doubt spend the next 72 hours bitching because that's what they do. They bark and yap more than Fight Night at Bad Newz. But there wasn't one call down the stretch the refs didn't get right. Particularly the call for holding Ben Watson in the end zone, where Jamaine Winborne had him in a submission arm bar from the 7 yard line in. The question Baltimore needs to ask, because I'm asking it, is "What took them so long?" On Brady's INT, Corey Ivy held Wes Welker like it was a cold night on "Brokeback Mountain."

*Still, Bart Scott's meltdown was an all time classic; the stuff that got New York her own show. I kind of wish they'd let him go after the official, just for the chance to see the Pats kicking off from the Raven's 10. As it was, Gostkowski could've put it through the end zone flicking it with his finger like a paper triangle in study hall.

*And did anyone else notice Brady going over to talk to Welker and Ivy came right across the line to listen in? The three of them were closer than the Raven's "U" guys in that pregame three way kiss. How is videotaping sidelines illegal but you can bust right in on Brady and Welker's alone time like that?

*A lot of McGahee's success running the ball was the result of some really crappy gap control the Pats front three. Early in the 2nd, Vince Wilfork blew in through the left side A gap instead of holding his spot, and was 5 yards in the backfield when McGahee took it through the opposite side for 15 yards..

*No one outside the Patriots organization was happier to see Rex Ryan blow this game than Joe Gibbs, who was spared from winning this week's "Chris Webber Boneheaded Timeout of the Week " Award. And it couldn't have been easy for Ryan, what with his old man sitting up in the stands looking like FDR fighting off polio at Yalta.

*But in his almost eight years with the Pats, have you ever seen Bill Belichick blow any sort of a game management-type call? Have they ever made a bad timeout decision, mismanaged the clock or failed to get a unit on the field like Arizona did last week? Or seen the kind of confusion Baltimore had on their last possession? Watching another coach after being spoiled by The Hooded One is like watching Rex Grossman after being spoiled by Brady.

*And try to picture for one second Belichick blowing kisses to an opponent. It's like trying to imagine the edge of the universe.

*And with each passing loss, Brian Billick looks more and more like the dad from "7th Heaven." Though I think Mr. Camden at least could've held onto a 7-point lead with prayer. While guiding Jessica Biel through puberty.

*The best matchup in this game, better even than Moss vs. Ed Reed, was Logan Mankins on Haloti Ngata. From the outset, Mankins was driving him off the line, 3 or 4 yards back at a clip. But by the 2nd half, Alotta Fagina was pushing Mankins around like he hasn't been in his entire career. On the Brady sack, Mankins never got his feet under him and Ngata shoved him right into Brady.

*In the battle between Anachronous 1970's Icons, Led Zeppelin beat Shula 52-7.

*I watched the game tape real closely, and I counted at least 6-10 plays that Ron Jaworski took off and didn't give his best effort. Shame on you Jaws. That won't get it done in the National Football League.

*For all of Ryan's defensive "genius", he runs the same Cover-2 the Pats have been seeing all year. The Safeties split the field to take the deep ball away from Moss and Stallworth. And unlike, say, Buffalo, they happen to have the horses to make it work. If there was anything special he did, it was loading one side, which worked early. But by the 4th, the Pats adjusted by rolling the pocket away from the pressure and Brady had ample time to get the ball off thereafter.

*Nice job by the people who put the trailer together for: "Rambo vs. the Non-Offensive Caucasian Terrorists".

*Has there ever been a better pregame player intro than the one Wilfork did? Not only did he get everyone's name in, he gave them all nicknames too. Way better ones than what Chris Berman's been dishing out since about 1995. James Sanders got "Quiet Storm," which if I recall was the only one named after a Sade song. And VW passed on the chance to pay tribute to fellow Hurricane Sean the Baptist.

*Not to harp on Jaws, whom I like (when he's not hating on Moss) but what was with the constant heaping of praise on the Baltimore D? ESPN kept showing the 3rd down play in the end zone that led to the first Pats FG, which Jaws called "a great play by the Baltimore defense." I guess I lack his expertise because like an idiot I kept calling it "A drop by Benjamin Watson of a ball right in his freaking bread basket." I've got to start watching the game film closer.

*Funny how the drops become contagious, like cold shooting in basketball or infield defense in baseball. Samari Rolle made a nice play on Stallworth, but what made the ball pop loose wasn't the hit, it was Stallworth trying to run before he had it. Ditto Faulk on a Brady check down that would've been a 1st down. And Moss dropped a ball in the end zone on a skinny post that I guess the wind affected. Moss catches that 99 times out of a 100. But last night, with the bad team mojo going, he TO'ed it.

* In football the pants and jerseys should never be the same color. In baseball, they always should be. Because I said so. To steal a phrase from Shemp, the Ravens looked like black bananas.

*The Kornheiser "WTF? Moment of the Week" had to be his comment that "Billick is not on the hot seat, but he is under the gun." Wait...is that a good thing or a bad thing? See? It's not so easy when you don't have Reali around to show you where you screwed up.

*I'll kill the next man who complains about the blow out games being "boring."