How Much Would You Pay For A Used Thong?
Bossip.com - In case you were wondering who the chick is in Kanye West’s new “Flashing Lights” video bashing him with the shovel, here she is, Rita G. Rita is so popular that she sells used thongs on the internet: Worn Undies with my personal scent - Only $24.95!
“I’ve lost count of all the emails saying ‘I would pay any amount of money for the g-string right off your butt’. Well, here’s your chance. I will wear each pair of panties long enough to transfer my ‘natural’ scent, but these are limited, not mass-produced. So order them now. I might not be offering that many of them!”
$24.95 for Rita G’s ass scent huh? Who does this chick thing she is? I never even heard of her until 2 seconds ago. No fucking way I’m paying that. But that’s not to say I think it’s a stupid idea. There are plenty of chicks there that I’d fork over 25 bucks for a game worn thong complete with authentic ass scent. In fact here are the top ten chicks in no particular order that I’d gladly pay money to add their thong to my thong collection. Again, I'm not saying these are the 10 best asses in the world, but just like with any collection there are different reasons for everything.
1. Kristin Kreuk
It’s not even so much her ass scent that I’m after with Kreuk. It’s just that I’ve just been so infatuated with her for so long that no collection of chick scents can be complete without her in the mix. It doesn’t matter whether it’s ass scent, tit scent, neck scent etc. If a body scent is for sale I’m buying whatever Kreuk is selling.
2. Bar Rafaeli.
Everyday I see a new picture of this chick and every day I get more upset that the First Lady doesn’t look exactly like her. Her last two guess that ass shots have been the stuff of legend. Right now no ass scent collection can be complete without her.
3. Reef Chick
Reef Chick’s thong is like the Honus Wagner of thongs. I mean there are thong collections and then there are thong collections. If you have Reef Chick that means you already have one of the best collections of thongs in the universe. It’s the best of the best. I’d literally pay 1,000 bucks for a game worn thong from her. But it’s not even worth thinking about because we can’t even figure out her name never mind getting her ass scent delivered to me.
4 Jessica Biel
Undisputed great ass. Plus I saw her in person at Joshua Tree when she was just a lonely Tufts undergrad. And just like with any piece of memorabilia it’s always nice when you have a personal story to go with it. I can just picture sitting around the fire place taking a nice whiff of Biel’s thong and telling my grandkids about the time I saw her wearing hooker boots and how I was the only one in the bar who recognized Biel as “the chick from Summer Catch” Oh the memories…
5. Barstool Laura
Who is Barstool Laura? She still has arguably the best ass I’ve ever seen up close and personal. And those are fighting words since I’ve seen a lot of asses now in my day. I feel like her thong would be a nice memento from all the hard work I’ve put in with Barstool. You know how some businesses frame the first dollar that they earn? I’d frame the thong of the first chick’s ass that made me piss myself.
6. Keeley Hazell
As we briefly discussed earlier this week Keeley Hazell is the hottest chick ever to make her own home made porno. Therefore, I kind of think that makes her thong valuable. I mean there is just something cool about being able to watch her get nailed and then be able to smell her ass scent at the same time. It would be like getting the smell of Fenway in your apartment when you’re watching a Sox game. You can’t put a price on that.
7. Julie Donaldson
Since I can’t find that video of Julie Donaldson getting soaked by the Mets after they won the division I’m just going to have to settle for her thong. I figure since I’m pretty much going to be seeing her every day and everybody is going to be talking about how much they want to fuck her it would be nice to have her thong hanging on my wall.
8. Audrina from the Hills
Everybody knows that I’m a total MTV freak. Therefore it just doesn’t seem right for me to have a thong collection and not have Audrina represented. She’s still the hottest chick on the channel and if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times. I’d gladly pay 24.99 for her ass scent.
9. Jennifer Lopez
When people study the history of asses, I feel like Jennifer Lopez is one of the founding fathers. Therefore, I just feel like you need to have her thong in your collection. I really don’t want one, but she’s really the first person that I can remember that made a name for herself strictly on her ass. So if you’re talking about the history of asses and shit like that you need her thong in there to be taken seriously.
10. Keyra Augusta
Lots of people right now are saying she has the best ass in the world. Therefore buying her ass scent in an absolute no brainer.