From Her Perspective

By Kati Cawley
feedback@barstoolsports.com

Dating can be expensive. Although it is really nice of a girl to offer to pay, you should be putting out the majority of the cash. “Dutch” should not be a part of your vocabulary. I was going to elaborate on this, but actually, I’m not. I will say it again. “Dutch” should not be part of your vocabulary. That said, I understand that dinner and drinks can get very pricey, especially if you are trying to be impressive and she is downing dirty martinis like nobody’s business. Oh, wait, maybe that’s just me. At any rate, sometimes it’s nice to just stay home and watch a movie. And make out.

What I am offering up here is by no means a full list. I could go on for days debating the best movies to make out to, but here is a good start. And please note: I know that some of these movies may be hard for you to take. But I guarantee you’ll only have to pay attention for a few minutes…

Love Actually: Girls love this movie. They love the whole thing. There really aren’t any scenes that don’t drive girls insane. It incorporates every cheesy fantasy a girl has ever had and every cheesy actor she moons over when you’re not there. What can I say, accents are attractive. Five minutes, tops, and she’ll be all over you.

Love and Basketball: You may actually enjoy this one, too. Sanaa Lathan is extremely hot, and it has a lot to do with sports. Girls freak out over this movie because they all secretly dream of marrying the boy next door, and the whole thing is rife with sexual tension from the very beginning.

Sweet Home Alabama: Every girl wishes she were in the predicament Reese Witherspoon finds herself in – caught between the handsome, successful new guy that lets her loose in Tiffany’s to pick out her dream engagement ring (Patrick Dempsey), and the boy she loved her whole life (Josh Lucas). Lots of girls find Patrick Dempsey attractive, and Josh Lucas has a Southern accent. There’s no way your girl won’t be turned on by one of them.

About Last Night: This is a movie not everyone knows about, but if you can find it, I highly recommend it. The story follows Rob Lowe’s and Demi Moore’s tumultuous relationship, complete with lots of hot sex scenes and romantic moments. It’s a pretty good movie in and of itself, but I’m telling you, girls go crazy for it.

Say Anything: You’ll have to watch a bit of this movie before you’ll get anywhere, but it’s not that bad, so don’t worry. I would say she’ll start rubbing your knee as soon as he moves the glass out of her way in the 7-11 parking lot.

My Best Friend’s Wedding: You all know that girls feel lousy about themselves at weddings. Now you won’t even have to get dressed up. The other thing is that every girl has one male friend that she secretly feels this way about, so you’ll get to reap all of those benefits as well. Fish in a barrel my friends, it’s almost too easy.

Porn: I just wanted to see if you were paying attention. There are girls who enjoy porn, but it’s a risk. You have to be really close with someone in order to pull this off. The other problem is that it is more likely that the girl will want to watch the movie and laugh at it than make out with you. And if you pick a particularly disgusting one, the girl may be too grossed out to want to have anything to do with you.

Billy Madison: Just kidding. I know I would be way too busy reciting every line from this movie to have any time to make out with you. Believe me, guys have tried this one on me before, but they’re always disappointed. Besides, if the girl isn’t interested, she can pull a “No, I will not make out with you!” and that’s just embarrassing. I would actually suggest avoiding any generic “girl movie” that most chicks know all of the lines, all of the songs, or all of the dances to. They won’t be paying any attention to you and you’ll have to sit and actually watch the movie, which kind of defeats the whole purpose.

You’re probably thinking that you would rather die than watch any of these movies. And you’re probably right. But sometimes, it’s worth it. Let’s face it, girls like to feel sorry for themselves and make bad decisions. Watching movies like this makes girls feel that way without having to leave the comfort of their living rooms. So crack open a beer or six and get ready for some good old-fashioned high-school making out. It’ll be fun, I promise!