Enemy Perspective

I was in the car, somewhat drunk and tired after a long day of “slapping the white ball around” (playing golf) when I heard. My friend Keith, a Sox fan, texted me.

“Yankees got Roger”

My first reaction was similar to that of an 8^th grade girl finding out that Tommy from Shop class likes her: “That is the best text message EVER!”

After my momentary giddiness wore off and I realized I’m male and nearing 30, my next reaction was much more responsible: “What did it cost?”

Now when you think about that, it’s a dumb question. This is the Yankees, and I’ve been saying all along that they were going to hand Roger a blank check, possibly along with a suite at the Ritz full of hookers.

Roger’s $28 million is prorated. (That’s a fancy way of saying “we’re overpaying for this guy so badly, we’re going to include taxes and pay it in installments.”) He’ll get about $18 mil, or as ESPN has pointed out, about $147,000 PER DAY to play a sport.

I want to be upset about that. I want to be outraged that there are starving children in countries I don’t want to go to, and I have credit card debt up the wazoo, and they’re going to give this dude $150K per day on the hope he can strike some guys out in between times he’s scratching his nuts.

I want to be outraged, but I can’t. Because that would be stupid. The Yankees have that money. George probably carries that around in his wallet. And he’s reportedly so senile at this point that his son Hank could probably pick $28 mil from the man’s back pocket without the guy even noticing.

(The Red Sox have it too, but they didn’t need the guy, so why cough it up? Just to keep the Yankees from getting him? Maybe. But they decided they like their team, and that was the right call. Might come back to haunt them, might not. Besides, they already spent absurd amounts on Dice-K this offseason. They’re no better than the Yankees.)

It was the right call for the team in the Bronx. They lead the league in runs scored and are below .500. That shouldn’t happen. They needed pitching. Roger will fill that need. Done deal. Why let some pocket change get in the way?

If you’re outraged that baseball players make that much, don’t be. Because it’s your fault they’re paying him that kind of money. Mine too. In the words of Inigo Montoya, “lemme essplain.”

Every year at Fenway and Yankee Stadium, the prices go up. Every year, we pay more for tickets and hot dogs and $8 beers. (If someone on the street offered you a $6 hot dog, you’d punch them in the kidney.) Every year we buy jerseys and shirts. Every year, out-of-market schmucks like me shell out $180 bucks for MLB Extra Innings, which makes my already absurd Comcast bill so outrageous, a year comes off my life every time I open it. Every year they keep raising the prices, and we keep giving it up like the drunk college girl with low self-esteem that everyone’s bagged.

It’s our damn fault, people. We keep paying, they keep playing. But you already knew that.

Interestingly, the real uproar with Roger’s contract isn’t even about the cash—it’s about what we will now call the “Rocket Clause.” This is the clause in his contract that gives Roger permission to not travel with the team to away games when he is not pitching. Sportswriters and players alike are all up in arms about this piece of crap. (Skip Bayless literally shoved a knife into Woody Paige’s neck on SportsCenter the other day over this. Seriously.) They say it shows Roger doesn’t care about the other players—and in turn, they won’t care about him; They say it sets a bad precedent; Most ridiculously, they say it hurts team chemistry.

Here’s my question: Who gives a shit?

First, teams routinely send starting pitchers ahead of the team when they are traveling after a game, so the pitcher can be rested for the next game. Roger needs and wants to see his family in order to be ready. Does that make him a better pitcher? Just look at his stats in Houston last year and you tell me: 19 G, 2.30 ERA, 102 K, 29 BB, and a record that would have been better if he had gotten a lick of run support. You wouldn’t do what’s right for a guy if it meant he’d have a 2.30 ERA in 19 games? Yes, yes you would.

Second, the bad precedent idea. That’s absurd, because guys already have little clauses in their contracts about meals and flights and hotels and what have you. And then there’s guys like Manny who just show up whenever they feel like it. At least Roger was polite enough to let the Yankees know in advance. Only the media cares about this, because they get bad food in the booth and the players get treated like kings.

Third, and best of all, there’s the whole, “It hurts team chemistry” idea. The media and other jealous players like Fat Wellsy actually think the other players give a shit that a guy doesn’t want to sit on his ass in the dugout for three games when he knows in advance that he’s not going to play.

This is the dumbest thing of all, for a simple reason: chemistry doesn’t have anything to do with baseball. It’s not a chemistry sport. Chemistry in sports is the idea that guys who like and believe in each other play well together and cooperate more efficiently. Guess what? Baseball is the weakest team sport there is. By far. Now, I’m not saying you don’t need a good team to win (you do) but baseball doesn’t necessarily require “cooperation” to succeed. It is individual guys playing well at the same time. It’s not the same thing as basketball or football.

Take away routine ground balls, which don’t require chemistry—how many plays require two or more fielders per game? There’s double plays, which happen two or three times per game; and “cut-off man” plays, which happen maybe three times. So of a total of 27 outs, we get, at max maybe seven “chemistry plays” per game. Most plays go like this: Pitcher throws pitch, ball is hit, player catches ball. I’m overwhelmed by the chemistry there.

Batting doesn’t have anything to do with Chemistry. Each batter does what he’d do on any team—what the manager tells him to do, whether it’s bunt a guy over or try for a sac fly or swing away. No chemistry involved.

It’s become a modern misconception that chemistry is required to win championships. It’s not. I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

Chemistry, in modern baseball terms, has become the new way to describe an under-talented team that overachieves.

Take your beloved ’04 Red Sox, the biggest chemistry scam of all time. You have Manny and Schilling on that team, two of the biggest “me-first” guys in the sport. Nomar sulking half the year. So Cabrera and Douggie show up, and suddenly, it’s a chemistry team? I don’t think so. Basically, role players like Bill Mueller, Cabrera, and Roberts stepped up; Schilling sold his soul and Manny did what Manny would have done on any team and always has: hit the hell out of the ball. No. Chemistry. Involved.

Yes, they had fun doing it, and yes, they liked each other. Does their having fun have anything to do with winning? No.

Chemistry is a ridiculous notion in this sport, especially on the Yankees. Now, you’d probably say that’s the reason why they haven’t won a championship lately. Personally, I’ll say that haven’t won because of something much more tangible: the pitching wasn’t good enough. From Mo blowing the save in ’01 against ‘Zona, the blown saves against the Sox in ‘04, Randy being a complete flop, Mussina always getting hurt; the list goes on and on. How many times did the Yankees players have the team in a position to win when the pitching didn’t get it done?

The bottom line is this: the Yankees needed pitching; Roger is one of the best there is. The Yankees want to win the World Series; Roger wants to win the World Series.

Roger wanted time off in between starts; the Yankees don’t have a problem with that. Roger wanted to go to a place he’ll get run support; the Yankees offense is the best in baseball. Roger wanted lots of money; the Yankees have lots of it.

The Owners are greedy for money, which the Fans pay because we’re greedy for baseball and championships, which causes the Owners pay to the players, who are greedy because they can be: they’re holding all the cards. It’s a circle of greed.

With the two highest payrolls in baseball, if the Yankees with Roger or the Red Sox with Dice-K win the World Series this year, we’ll have to finally agree that championships can be bought—and that chemistry, in baseball, doesn’t exist.

We’re in the same boat, people. Do you feel the need? The need for greed?