The Case Against WEEI

Trial Transcript: Commonwealth vs. WEEI
Docket No. 2006CR0850
Criminal Complaint: Negligent Operation of a Radio Station

Judge: “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this concludes the evidentiary phase of the trial.  As I said to you at the beginning, once the all the evidence and testimony were in, the attorneys on both sides would summarize their respective cases with their closing statements.  So now, on behalf of the Commonwealth, Assistant District Attorney Thornton will make his closing argument.  Mr. Thornton?…”

Me: Thank you, Your Honor, and thank you, ladies and gentlemen for your time and your attention during this trial.  In doing so, you’ve served your country, you’ve served your community, and more importantly, you’ve served the sports fans of New England.

In my opening statement, I told you that throughout the course of this trial we would prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Sports Radio WEEI has, over the last several years, willfully, systematically and with knowledge of the consequences, operated what could and should be the best sports radio station in America in a negligent manner.  That the people of WEEI, both on and off the air, while under the influence of their own over-inflated sense of self-importance, have destroyed what was once one of the true pleasures of being a sports fan in Boston.

We presented evidence of how WEEI first went to an all-sports format in the mid 90’s.  You heard testimony from fans who said at the time, thought they’d died and gone to sports heaven, because they’d be able to hear sports talk 24 hours a day.  Eventually, the station got rid of the unlistenable Don Imus and became all-sports, all local, all day.  At that time WEEI was THE place for the sports fan; the region’s giant office water cooler. There was a buzz about everything that went on there.  If news was breaking, you went immediately to 850 for the reaction.  If someone gave an opinion on the air, it was talked about and rehashed by your friends ad infinitum.

But all that is gone.  In the last few years, the station has degenerated into a bloated, embarrassing parody of itself. Like Hawaii Elvis without the Seconal.  Where there was once potential for entertainment greatness, there is now just lazy, flabby, underachieving, self-absorbed waste-of-talent and opportunity.  The radio equivalent of a 1997 Jose Canseco.

But at least Canseco gave you the occasional tape measure home run.  ‘EEI no longer even puts the bat on the ball.  You’ve heard the evidence, ladies and gentlemen.  You’ve listened to the tapes.  They’ve all but abandoned any pretense of trying to entertain the sports fan.  The entire format has become a tedious exercise in self-congratulation.  An enormous, 24-hour circle jerk of Pete Sheppard-is-a-big-fat-Italian-gambleaholic bits, Big O-is-a-big-fat-egotist talk, and painfully unfunny eight-minute long Jon Meterperel parodies.  All of which is as entertaining as listening to the people your girlfriend works with talking about the politics in their office.  No doubt it’s hysterical to them, but it’s agony for the listener.

We’ve made the case against the “Dennis and Callahan” morning show.  The evidence has shown that while they do the occasional good interview, the rest of the time the show exists solely on a diet of negativity, vitriol, and semi-perturbed bitterness and mock anger.  Apparently convinced that good news can’t fill air time, the hosts look to which ever member of the Red Sox is struggling at a given moment, and jump on him with cleats.  In Spring Training it was Mike Lowell.  In April it was Wily Mo Pena.  By early May it was Mark Loretta.  When each started to hit, they moved on to the next.  At the moment it’s Alex Gonzalez.   The fact that he’s the best defensive shortstop the Sox have had in our lifetimes, and that the team is in first place just proves the Commonwealth’s case, ladies and gentlemen.

“The Big Show” was a great idea: fill a show with sportswriters and give them a forum to provide news, opinions and insider information that didn’t exist anywhere else on the Boston sports scene.  But as we showed you, there are currently about three dozen web sites that do the same thing only better.  “The Big Show” has deteriorated into nothing more than a vehicle for hidden agendas, personal vendettas and grinding axes.  You listened to the tapes of them attacking Nomar because he wasn’t nice to them and defending the indefensible Grady Little because he was.  Every hour of the show begins with ten minutes of the Big Show “personalities” talking about themselves.  Every phone call they take is another opportunity for one of these pedants to interrupt the caller and lecture him on how little he knows.

The number of subjects that the people on ’EEI refuse to discuss, or are incapable of discussing, is staggering.  The NHL and NBA playoffs.  National League baseball.  The Olympics.  The World Cup.  The entire world of college sports is virtually non-existent on the station.  Anything beyond the Red Sox or some quasi-legal issue like steroids is barely worthy of mention. Even the greatest team in professional sports, the New England Patriots, get short shrift because they don’t give the station the sexy controversy they thrive on, they just win. Again, ladies and gentlemen, you heard the recordings of last November when the Patriots were rolling toward the playoffs and WEEI was doing wall-to-wall coverage of Theo Epstein in the gorilla suit.

The defense has argued from the beginning that WEEI’s ratings are all the evidence you need to find them not guilty.  They argue that there are other sports stations in town, and you the jury prefer ‘EEI.  But don’t be mislead by this argument, jurors.  Technically they’re correct; there are other stations in Boston, each of which has the broadcast signal of a baby monitor.  As long as ‘EEI’s competition can only be picked up by ham radio operators and people with NSA Security Clearance, Boston will be a one sports station town.  The ratings are good because you and I have no where else to turn.

And we deserve better.  Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, weigh the evidence.  Listen to the tapes.  Recall the testimony of the dissatisfied listeners who testified in this trial.  When you go into the jury room to deliberate, ask yourselves why you and so many other fans you talk to have stopped listening to ‘EEI all together.  Consider whether it’s because the station has been operating negligently.  When you do, I’m confident you’ll return a true and just verdict and find WEEI “Guilty.”  Thank you.