In A Truly Shocking Twist: Antonio Brown Takes A Shot At Robert Kraft, Says He's Done Playing Football

You know what I’ve learned in all this? I have more friends than Antonio Brown. Which is crazy considering I’m not that great. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ok. Much like AB I also haven’t made millions of dollars this year, the difference being no one even offered them to me. Whereas he keeps picking up winning lottery tickets and promptly placing them into various incinerators. If only he had a single friend to tell him, “Hey. Don’t put that $20 million dollar check into a paper shredder. Place it into a bank instead.” he’d be doing alright.

But at this point it’s clear: AB doesn’t have a SINGLE friend. Not one. Because he didn’t get fired on a Friday over speculation like he’s claiming. He got fired because he cannot shut the fuck up. If AB hadn’t sent those text messages to his accuser he’d still be a Patriot and he’d be suiting up against the Jets as we speak. Instead he’s on Twitter tweeting like the rest of us idiots. All because no one took his phone. All because no one told him, “Hey, have you considered maybe not doing that?” But no, he did not consider NOT threatening the children of his accuser. All he had to do was fart near his doctor, play with his dead piranhas, shut the fuck up and catch touchdowns and he’d have been fine while the civil suit carried on in the background. But no, that was apparently too much to ask. Now he’s on a mission to take down anyone and everyone:

I cannot imagine this ending well, or anytime soon.

UPDATE – Kraft said “LMAO FOH”