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I Guess I Kind Of Have To Fight This Zimbabwe Midget, Right?

First things first, I would hire Za. I would punt him, but he should be hired. It’s a veteran move. Any situation is improved by the addition of little people. Parties, weddings, funerals. And especially work. The sky countertop, is the limit. Is there anything little people can’t do? Well, yes. But kudos to them for their help finding the happy place in all of us. And Zah belongs in a museum of joy no matter how angry of a little dark elf he gets.

Now, that being said, how about this African midget little person (much obliged to the wishes of the great Mickey Abbott, as Zah apparantly doesn’t even respect his own species) coming straight out of the African Lolli-Pop Guild and attempt to slit my throat? What the hell, man? But the real question is, what can I really do about it? I would LOVE to powerbomb this little shit through the floor so he bursts into a thousand golden coins straight out of Mario. But you don’t start fights with people smaller than you. That’s just a rule. It’s a lose-lose situation no matter what. So, what’s the play? People who come after my family or my livelihood pay the price. Last year we had the saga of #NecrophiliaNate, which I still kind of feel bad about but, hey, if you have the right to come after my livelihood, I have the right to say you fuck dead things. What’s fair is fair. And this needle dick is easily balls deep in his village’s goat’s corpse.

PS – Definitely didn’t expect to come back from the shore and and spend the Monday getting scolded by African dwarf posterizing on a table. Only at Barstool.

PPS – True story.

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