This Kid Has The Most Genius Post-Breakup Move I've Ever Heard

Today we had a revolutionary call into KFC Radio. He’d recently been dumped and explained the most genius plan that these two ears have ever heard. What exactly was this plan? I’ll tell you, because I’m kind. He’s been texting girls who his girlfriend had said were off limits because she thought they wanted to hook up with him. This mad scientist was texting every girl on that list with a simple “hey so my girlfriend had you on a no fly list haha,” or something of the like.

That is BRILLIANT. It’s brilliant for two reasons.

1. Girls are superheroes. Their intuition is absolutely incredible. They’re like Professor X and can hear every single person’s innermost thoughts. You think you know if a girl wants to hook up with you because you noticed some little thing like she touched your arm or played with her hair? That’s child’s play, your girlfriend can read her fucking mind.

Everyone who’s ever been in a relationship has had that conversation where the girlfriend wants you to stop talking to a chick you’re friendly with and we all play it off the same way, “What?! HER? No, no, no. We’re just friends, it’s not like that all.” Well, the second you’re out of that relationship you have sex with that girl. It happens without fail. If your girlfriend was your wingman she’d be the greatest ever. She can walk into a room, smell the pheromones, and no which girl wants to fuck you, which will do anal, and which wants a threesome. They’re freaks.

2. Girls are supervillains. They hear that another girl doesn’t want them to do something and they immediately must do it due to some evolutionary trait that says they’re all at war constantly. Girls don’t need the same sustenance to live like you and I do, they survive solely on water, salad, and hatred. It’s what gets them out of bed in the morning and keeps them up at night. If they find out that there’s some chick out there that had them on a no fly list then their competitive juices will immediately get pumping and they’re gonna fuck you.

So if you’ve recently been dumped and you’re not pulling this move you’re an absolute fool. Even if you weren’t recently dumped you should be doing it. Make up a fake girlfriend and text that girl from high school who you always wanted, tell her that your (fake) ex saw some pics of  you guys on Facebook and said you weren’t allowed to talk to her, then have some sex. Send this kid a thank you card after because he just changed the game.