CONFIRMED: Luke Kuechly Is A Former Lacrosse Player And The Squad Keeps Getting Bigger And Bigger
Before we know it, the entire NFL is going to be comprised of former lacrosse players. It all started back in the day with Jim Brown. Now we’ve got Chris Hogan. We’ve got Steven Hauschka. We’ve got Jalen Ramsey. We’ve got Le’Veon Bell who said he wishes that he played lacrosse. And the newest addition to the Former Lacrosse Player Squad in the NFL? Carolina Panthers linebacker Luke Kuechly.
Goddamn just think about the team that we could assemble if we all of these guys. Kuechly would be your true shutdown defenseman. You send him out there to cover the opposing team’s best attackman and you hold that son of a bitch to maybe one assist on the day on he’s lucky. Jalen Ramsey is your LSM who is just an animal all over the field. If you catch the ball coming out of the box and you have Jalen Ramsey riding your ass, you’re turning the ball over before you get to the top of the box and he’s taking it down the other end of the field and stuffing that shit in the back of the net. You’ve got Chris Hogan who is a great two-way middie and can absolutely bomb from range on man-up. I’m not exactly sure what position Hauschka played in lacrosse but since he’s a kicker in football, we’ll just make him either the faceoff guy or a goalie. They’re all strange birds so he’ll fit in nicely there on the roster.
All I’m saying is that the day is going to come when these guys don’t want to beat their bodies to shit anymore. Hell, Luke Kuechly has already had enough concussion history for multiple lifetimes. So if they ever want to drop the football and pick the twig back up, we could create one of the most dominant teams the sport has ever seen. And I’m just happy we can finally add Kuechly to the roster. Now let’s see if we can get a stick in Cam’s hands.