Nothing Kills The Vibe At A Bar More Than The Bartender Measuring Out Drinks With One Of Those Little Metal Measuring Things

This came up last night and I’ve never said anything more true in my life. Nothing kills the vibe at a bar or makes a bar look less cool than making bartenders measure shots out for drinks into those little metal cups, apparently called “jiggers”. Nobody likes to see the bartender measure the shot. It ruins the mystique. It ruins the mood. It makes you feel like you’re at an airport. And most importantly, it just screams “THIS BAR ISN’T FUN”.

Obviously I understand the reasoning behind it from the bar’s perspective. But my goodness, at least let your bartenders do the counting method. Literally anything is better than them pulling out that dumb little cup. It’d be like going to a Super Bowl party and the host handing out 13 Doritos to every guest and allowing them 1 Tablespoon of buffalo chicken dip. And besides, let’s be real, when you give your customer a little extra liquor, they get a little extra drunk, and buy extra drinks, and tip extra more.

With the measuring cup, you definitely feel less drunk because you know the bartender is giving you exactly one shot and you know you haven’t poured yourself a drink with exactly one shot since…since ever. Nobody every drinks a vodka soda with exactly 1.5 ounces of alcohol. Nobody.

I can guarantee if they did a case study of bars that people like and bars people don’t like, the use of jiggers is 3x at bars people don’t like…and the only ones they do like that use them are Chiles.

So do they right thing, bars. Don’t be lame. Don’t make your bartenders look like total dweebs and measure out drinks like a grandma passing out Werther’s Originals. It just makes everyone think you’re an uptight, no fun bar and frankly you are killing your own vibe by making your bartender act like he works at a TGIFridays. Basically, be cool, don’t be not cool. Ban jiggers 2k19.

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PS: Oh, and one more thing I’ve never understood about bars. Say it’s Saturday night, bar is packed, everyone is whistling a tune and having a good time, why do they let people just sit on the barstools at the bar, right in the way of the only place you can order drinks? I’ve never understood it. Once dinner is over and the night crew is coming through, why not get rid of the barstools so people can order drinks without having to push between people at the bar, many of whom are trying to have a conversation? Would greatly improve flow and drink consumption, plus you don’t have to worry about pushing between people who are eating dinner. Everyone wins.

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PS: Last thing. Let us wear hats. I’m not in a gang, I just have a bar hairline and wear hats to cover that up. Banning hats is a form of prejudice and we need to be better than that.