I Think Russell Crowe Might Be The Funniest Dude Of All Time?

I didn’t know Russell Crowe had this in him? Make no mistake, that’s one of the funniest burns I’ve ever heard in my life. I’ve been giggling about this for a solid three minutes straight it’s that good. For those who don’t feel like listening: John Oliver bought Russell Crowe’s jockstrap from Cinderella Man as a joke at his divorce auction and gave it to a Blockbuster in Alaska. After, John never heard anything from Russell but silence can be deafening, so John took it to mean that Russell was very upset about John mocking him at an auction that was held on the day of his birth, wedding, and divorce (a little overkill if you ask me, there are 365 days in a year, spread it out a bit). What John did not realize was that Russell was plotting his revenge and building a wing at the Australia Zoo titled the “John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward.” It is a real ward, at a real zoo, for real koalas with chlamydia.

That is a TEN OUT OF TEN revenge move. Everyone likes to fantasize about how you’d get one over on someone who’s mocked you, be it a random stranger on the internet who no one would ever even know exists unless you quote tweeted him and said he had bad hair or a celebrity who very publicly mocked you, everyone wants their pound of flesh and I’d say that tying their name to koala chlamydia for eternity is as good as it gets. There will be no topping that. Ever. The John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward will serve as testament to marsupials with venereal diseases and to Russell Crowe’s humor for as long as we all live.