Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

Kentucky – An Oldham County High School teacher was arrested Thursday after she admitted to having sex with a student.

Haley Reed, 35, said she had sex with a juvenile student approximately eight times between April 1 and June 1. All the incidents occurred on school property, Oldham County Police said. …

Reed is charged with multiple accounts of third-degree rape, third-degree sodomy and first-degree unlawful transaction with a minor. She’s being held at the Oldham County Detention Facility.

I’m going to be honest with you. I’ve had a trying day. I know you think the life of a Barstool blogger is all sitting at a desk writing, entertaining the masses, doing what you want to do, making tons of money and being the envy of men everywhere as bra clasps undoing themselves as you pass by the women who adore you. But it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

I’ve spent the day alternately chasing down rumors that something “big” is about to happen with the Patriots, that that something is Gronk getting traded, answering texts and DMs, and now trying to track down the persistent info that some non-Gronk “big” thing is still about to break. And it can take a toll on a man.

Which is why I’m grateful for Haley Reed. Nothing complicated about her. She’s attractive. She enjoys a nice game of Just the Tip on school grounds. She copped to the whole thing. She’s come along at just the right time for me. A nice, easy, no-effort Sex Scandal Teacher to grade on a Friday afternoon after a long, hard week. The equivalent of putting your feet up on the back deck with a tall IPA and a little Kenny Chesney. At least until the other Patriots shoe drops and hell breaks lose again.

The Grades:
Looks: Here’s what I love about Haley. Just simple, good looks. Nothing fancy. Just the right amount of crazy. She’s not totally a Wheelhouse Chick, but also not making me work for it. She’s the tap-in putt of SSTs.
Grade: B

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: After a couple of weeks of dubious stories with no detail, what more needs to be said besides she confessed to having sex with a student eight times on school property? Oh, right. “Sodomy.”
Grade: A

Intangibles: Oldham? I’ll show you how to Oldham. (Not great but I need to halfass this one.)
Grade: B

Overall: B+

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.