D-III Pitching Warrior Gives Up Walk, Literally Pukes On The Mound, Stays In To Close Out The Playoff Game

A real life puke and rally on the diamond. Come in to close out a playoff game, give up a walk to bring the tying run to the plate, yack up the intestines with the entire world watching, then stay in the game to seal the deal. A true inspiration for all Division III hopefuls out there. Now it’s confirmed you can actually puke all over yourself as a result of a massive rager the previous evening cause the games don’t really matter, and live to tell the tale. But for real, good for this kid for sucking it up (hopefully not literally) and close the game. The only equatable resurgence on the mound came back way back when while I was pitching in high school I attempted to field a bunt. Key word: Attempted. I actually spiked myself off the mound and ended up floundering on the grass. I then screamed at by the coached to “Quit flapping around like a pussy” and that I looked like a “Pregnant Giraffe”. It was excruciating, both mentally and physically. Did I come back from such adversity like this D-III warrior? Shit no. Pretty sure I walked the next 6 batters on 24 pitches before somebody from the stands shouted “Mercy!” Braveheart style and I was taken out of the game, then behind the woodshed, and put down. Still don’t see how a 16-year-old deserved be devoured and told how he turns wet dreams into nightmares in front of his grandparents after pitching a rough inning in a non-league game, but I digress. Wait, no I don’t. Fuck off, Rod.

Regardless, these so-called Dallas Braden “D-9″ players may get no respect, but they damn well deserve at least the minimum. They have regard for their body or for human life, because it’s all Glory Days from there on out. Especially when you are forced to eat through a straw for a month after going Ludicrous Speed into a wall making a first inning Still worth it, baby. Still worth it.