God Bless The MTA

Fuck I love New York City. I mean I hate it. But I also love it. Where else can you find any cuisine from around the world, the richest and poorest people in the country separated by a couple of blocks, and a mode of transportation ridden by millions of people that fixes problems like a hungover college kid three days after his last final. Fuck the riddle of the Sphinx. This is the riddle of the subway rat. It’s Caulking vs. Fording in Oregon Trail except real and much sadder.

Do you take the safe route with the bricks, knowing that one misstep could land you in a puddle of New York City’s finest garbage water, likely giving you a bevy of subway diseases? Or do you go for the gusto and take the long jump onto the milk crate so you can get in and out ASAP? The answer is C, you take a picture of this shit, send it to your boss, tell them you aren’t coming in today, and go home because there is no way you won’t slip on those bricks that were just laying around in the subway and that milk crate has been a homeless person’s pillow for the last 3 years.