Last night we had the Rockets and Warriors advance to the Western Conference Finals, but we also had Shaq and Barkley yell at each other, because that’s what they do. So instead of just talking about the argument – it was a typical argument for the two of them with Barkley telling Shaq he had Kobe and Wade to carry him to titles while Shaq said Barkley knew nothing about winning. Now, I’ll be honest. I’m not the biggest Shaq fan. I don’t enjoy his shtick and I never liked his teams, so if I’m biased, fuck it. Let’s break down the film here.
Round 1 – the juvenile repetition
This started the argument as you had Shaq going to the well with the constant repetition. He continues to say ‘that’s not true’ like when you get busted for doing something you shouldn’t and immediately blame your little brother.. Nothing wrong with that move – both blaming other people and repeating yourself. However, you’re Shaq. You need to come up with something a bit different here. Barkley claps back with ‘just because you continue to say the same thing doesn’t mean it’s true.’ I never thought Barkley would sound like the mature one here, but he’s correct.
Round 2 – Wade was the man on that team
Now we start to get personal and I love it. Shaq started to raise his voice, which is something Barkley took great offense to. The moment Shaq says him and Pat Riley didn’t see eye to eye and they were fine, Barkley starts to go for the kill. He brings up Dwyane Wade and how he was the man on that team. I take no offense to that as Wade did win Shaq that title in 2006 along with some beyond questionable officiating, but that was 100% Wade’s team. Shaq admits defeat in that he was a role player on the team and ultimately I think he loses the argument here. If you forgot what the argument was – it was about catering to your star players.
Round 3 – You got babied, that’s why you ain’t win
Finally some fire out of Shaq and a clap back. As they get back to arguing about whether or not you should cater, er baby, a star player, Shaq goes for his kill shot. It’s not as played out as normal in just saying that Barkley didn’t win, it’s that Barkley didn’t win because he was babied. It’s all pretty ironic as both were extreme personalities during their time playing and had strained relationships at different stops, but I regress. This is about now and arguing as grown men. Might use that line in my back pocket, especially on the golf course if a buddy tops a shot or duffs one.
Round 4- I got 3 Finals MVP, Google me
Listen, any time you can bring in the words ‘google me’ you pretty much win the argument. This is a personal fight which means you need to brag about yourself here. Shaq goes to the well with the 3 Finals MVP as Barkley is yelling that Kobe and Wade drug him up and down the court. That’s where Shaq finally, finally speaks up with ‘google me.’ I googled his name and this is what came up:
Outcome: A win for the internet because this is an easy blog to write. Also a win for Kenny Smith for playing peacemaker here. Someone should interview him for a head coaching job. Also, a loss though because of no Ernie Johnson. I can’t wait for this to happen again shortly. I’ll give Shaq this one though – you drop google me and you win.