Hardo Broncos Fan Hates Tom Brady So Much He Got an Eagles Tattoo
I’ve been known on occasion to say positive, complimentary things in support of Tom Brady. I’m a fan of Brady’s work. I enjoy his quarterbacking quite a bit. I have good feelings about how he goes about his business. I just want to make that clear, in case it’s gone unnoticed.
But in my life I have never paid a tribute to Brady like this guy. If you caught me in my most emotional state – say two minutes after James White’s overtime touchdown when he was on the turf in the fetal position then got up and hugged his mom in her kerchief – if you had slipped Ecstasy into IPA and my late father came out of a cornfield asking if I wanted to have a catch while the music from the end of “Rudy” played, I still would not be capable of honoring Tom Brady like this anonymous Broncos fan.
This is the hardo move of the century. I mean, talk about allowing a guy to own real estate in your head. Brady has built an entire kingdom in Beardo’s here. I’m trying to put myself in his shoes where I’m so emotionally invested in hating a guy that I’d have the logo of a team I don’t care about burned into my flesh for eternity just because they beat him. I hate Lebron James like I hate crapping my pants. But if he loses this series you’re not going to find me walking out of a tattoo parlor with a Raptors logo on my thigh. Or going with the apples-to-apples comparison, if he loses in the Finals, I’m not getting a Warriors logo with, whatever, “6-18-18″ and “FYLJ.” There’s a better chance I’d get this Warriors logo inked into me.
So maybe I’ve finally met my true opposite number in this guy. The anti-Old Balls. The Bizarro Thornton who cancels me out and now I have to step up my game. To love Brady more than this Denverite hates him. I’m not a tattoo guy but I kind of feel obligated now. So that if when Brady wins his sixth ring, I’m getting the pro-TB12 tat that evens the great cosmic ledger. Fun isn’t something one considers when balancing the universe. But that would put a smile on my face?.