Great News Everyone - China Is Having A Team Of Baby Pandas Predict Every World Cup Game So We're All About To Be Millionaires
6/04/2014 5:40 PM
Beijing: A crack team of baby pandas in China will be used to predict scores at the World Cup in Brazil, according to reports, in China’s answer to former soccer soothsayer Paul the Octopus. The cuddly creatures will predict match winners by picking food from a choice of baskets and climbing trees at China’s flagship panda breeding base in the southwestern province of Sichuan, the official Xinhua news agency said on Monday.
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FANTASTIC News. Because let’s get one thing out of the way. I’m going to bet on the World Cup this year and I’m guaranteeing a personal Bloodbath. Thousands of dollars lost, big time depression, lot of personal bargaining and questioning my life decisions, the works. But you know what makes that all just a little bit ok? Baby Pandas making the picks for me. So Paul the Octopus you’re out, baby Chinese pandas you’re fucking in. Let the good times roll, and by good times I mean I hope I can still pay rent by the end of July.
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PS
Hopefully these baby pandas talk to our boy before they make any picks. Need a sports expert who actually watches game film.
Double PS
Can Pandas even talk to each other? And if so do they all speak Chinese? Think About It
6/04/2014 5:40 PM