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The Different Techniques of Surviving a Failed High Five

Yesterday towards the end of Game 7 of the Cavs-Pacers game, Tristan Thompson came out of nowhere for a block on Darren Collison. LeBron James decided to acknowledge his teammate after shunning him for the better part of the 2017-2018 season, and went in for a strong high five. I mean LeBron cocked this baby back for about seven feet before making contact with Tristan. The result? A solid connection in the moment with both guys fired up. All was well and good there, but an unfortunate situation quickly arose. A Cavs fan sitting court side wanted to get in on the fun and jumped at the moment.

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Lebron basically spit in this guys face and walked away. Devastation you would think right? Nope, not for this electric factory of a man. He responded with the only recovery possible where we wouldn’t be making fun of him.

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A full fist pump showing he was fired up as well and didn’t give two fucks about Lebron. My jaw dropped when I saw this. I think the only better recovery would have been an immediate beer chug. That’s really it. This guy nailed it.

Let’s look back at how some others handled rejection.

Tom Brady walking down the sideline just begging a teammate would acknowledge his existence. Nobody home. You look like an idiot 12. Poor recovery.

This guy behind Danny Ainge. I don’t even know what the plan was here. Did you think Ainge was going to spin around and find you as you slid on the court from absolutely nowhere? Horrific read on body language here my friend. You can’t be allowed back in the arena after that.

Hey Matt McGloin you’re beating fucking Illinois and the play is under review for Christ’s sake. No one gives out high fives for beating Illinois football, especially not Bill O’Brien. Look at that stare in disgust Bill gives him at the end. No wonder they sucked.

Oregon Ducks band member pulling the Tom Brady, but finding no wiggle room to walk down the row of students. He’s trapped and has nowhere to go until someone notices his hand. You could see at the end of the video his hand starts to lower in elevation. He’s given up and it’s on National TV for everyone to see. Just horrible.

Carlos Boozer post-painted hair gets this high five. No one is high fiving bald Boozer. As a guy who is not only in the beginning stages of balding (receding hair) and has his fair share of high five fails I’ll tell you this technique is a favorite of mine. I like to high five and dap myself up just so I got something out of it.

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D’angelo Russell has the right idea. You have to come away with something. That’s big time.

Tommy Smokes does not have the same luck. He’s been a fan of the “Jordan Shrug” since gaining his hot streak and tends to do this when Dave pulls a bet out of his ass. It’s cocky as fuck, but he’s earned the right to, especially after the Yankees walk-off win last Thursday. I don’t think that can be used on a high five fail. Just can’t be tossing around Jordan shrugs like they’re smiles these days.

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Listen, not every high five you throw out there is going to find a home so it’s important to have a backup plan. High fiving yourself is always a good bailout, but the thunderous fist pump in a big moment like Game 7 is what it’s all about. I tip my hat to you good sir and wish I was able to think on my feet like that.