Kim Jong Un Makes His Bodyguards Run Alongside His Car

I guess Kim Jong Un just doesn’t know about the motorcycle? Just never heard of it? There are definitely things that have slipped through the cracks in North Korea because they’re a bunch of isolated freaks and it appears the motorcycle is one of them. That’s obviously what these guys should be on. Motorcycles. Sure it’s kind of a power move to make 12 dudes in suits surround your car and just run with it but it’s also just so dumb. They get tired. They’re slow. They can’t actually defend your car from modern threats. They can’t pursue any ill-wishers. I could ride up on my childhood bike, throw some rocks at this car, then ride away to hit some cool dirt jumps and there’s nothing they could do about it. They’re on foot. It’s so dumb… even horses would be better than this. Way better. People figured the horse thing out legit like 5,000 years ago. You can either protect your car or you can just surround it with a bunch of tired dudes on foot and make yourself a slow ass sitting duck and KJU has opted for the latter.

Hey Kim, mix in a motorcycle buddy. This dude’s just so interesting — sometimes he’s a genius bringing his own fucking toilet everywhere he goes, other times he’s a moron rocking pre-stone age protection. Spotting dimes eating onions.