Having A Top 3 Pick In The NFL Draft Is EXHAUSTING


Thank God all of this nonsense is finally almost over. Yeah Giants fans should be excited about getting some sort of stud player, be it at pick 2 or later in the first round after a trade. But the best part about all this is that we can finally stop living a dying with every report full of unnamed sources and “people in the building”.

It’s obviously been a long time since the Giants had a pick anywhere near this high. 2004 to be exact, when they had the 4 pick, drafted Philip Rivers, and traded him along with some future picks for the TWO-TIME, TWO-TIME, TWO-TIME SUPER BOWL MVP Eli Manning. I still remember where I was that day. Day drinking in college on a Saturday during the glory days when the entire draft was on the weekend. Now I’m married, have two kids, and a mortgage chained around my neck. Times have changed, as has the internet.

Back then, it took hours to get a porn video downloaded on Limewire, Twitter wasn’t invented, and Barstool Sports was merely a newspaper. Now we have porn on demand streaming seamlessly in HD, Barstool is on the web (unless All Biz Pete fucked up), and Twitter is constantly giving us stories from those unnamed source and “people in the building”. I remember all the buzz about Eli not wanting to play in San Diego and Ernie Accorsi lusting after him. But other than TV and whatever sports site you went on, it ended there.

Now since we are glued to our phones and computers, it is everywhere you look. Lets take a quick glance at what the pick before the Giants has been.

Two days ago:


Two weeks ago:

Two days ago:



And maybe most importantly because you should always follow the money, a few hours ago:

And an hour ago:

Those picks are all over the place! I’ve been living and dying with mock drafts since we knew this season was in the shitter back in November. I know it’s Smoke Screen SZN, but I honestly don’t know how fans of shitty teams do this every year. Our handsome boi Chaps’ beloved Jaguars have been in the Top 5 for the last SIX years and I’m pretty sure those drafts contributed to his vast knowledge of whiskeys and beer. The Browns have had a Top 3 pick 8 times in the 20 years since they came back into the NFL. The Factory of Sadness becomes the the Factory of Anxiety in April before those draft picks bust and turn Believeland back into the Sadness Machine we all know and love.


Granted, that pick is the Browns pick, who not only have been the punchline for NFL ineptitude but also can’t reportedly trust their coach with any confidential information because he is a Chatty Cathy.

But still, no fans should have to deal with the ups and downs of these rumors and smoke screens. Especially when nobody actually knows shit about how good these players are going to be. If they did, there is no way DeShaun Watson lasts until the 12th pick last season. It was rough enough having to live with last season’s shit sandwich, from Ben McAdoo’s hair, to the offensive line, to Geno Smith being the one that ended Eli Manning’s consecutive start streak, and so on. To now have to deal with months of who will be there at 2 has tuckered me out (along with a 3 week old that DOESN’T FUCKING SLEEP AFTER 2 AM). Oops, sorry about that.

Anyway, this is the part of the blog I talk about who I want the Giants to take. I want a quarterback. As someone that usually lives in misery with 2/3rds of his sports teams, I cannot thank him enough for delivering those two titles. But we need someone to groom for the future. I hope to God we never have to experience a season like next season ever again. And hitting on a QB in the middle or later part of the first round is not nearly as easy as picking one early. I’m on the record that I love Saquon Barkley. I’m not a huge college football fan, but whenever I watched his games, he was clearly the best player on the field. Whenever he played, his name would pop up like MESSI!!! tweets during a Barcelona match. And Saquon’s Combine performance is the shit legends are made of.


Meanwhile whenever I watched Sam Darnold play, I was underwhelmed. That doesn’t mean he is going to suck or that scouts that love him don’t know what they are talking about. But I just didn’t love him.

However, I also know and have heard the same stuff everyone else has. You can’t draft a running back at the 2 spot because the players at that position get grinded into dust. There’s a reason Le’Veon Bell will never get that big contract offer from the Steelers while even above average quarterbacks become the highest-paid player in the league whenever their contracts are up. Saquon would even be getting “overpaid” in some peoples eyes despite coming out of college as a stud.

If the Giants draft Saquon Barkley with the No. 2 overall pick, he’ll need to be one of the league’s very best running backs right away to justify his compensation. If drafted at that spot, Barkley would be the fourth-highest-paid running back in terms of average annual value (AAV), according to draft slot contract information from By comparison, Bradley Chubb would be the 21st-highest-paid defensive end in terms of AAV, and a quarterback at that No. 2 spot would be the 25th-highest-paid QB assuming the Browns select a quarterback first overall.

via ESPN

For those reasons and more, I want a QB. Now if Dave Gettleman thinks all these quarterbacks are trash and he can’t trade down, then I’ll have no problem rallying behind a great running back. Vikings fans seemed to have a ball rooting for Adrian Peterson back in the day. Rams fans were over the moon with Todd Gurley last year (as were his fantasy owners). There are worse things in the world then “falling into” the number 1 player on most peoples big boards that also happens to have gone to the same college as Rone, potentially making him impervious to any Rone Curses. Plus lets be honest, if you don’t love Saquon Barkley after this video, you just don’t like football.


But if Gettleman loves Darnold at 2 or another QB later in the first round or the second, then I am in on him. I didn’t love the Pat Shurmur hire, but I am in on him too because I don’t have a choice. To be honest, I can’t wait until this is all over and we can just rally around SOMEONE. Preferably somebody really good since this pick will likely impact the next 60-600 Sundays of my life during the fall and winter.

Now lets pray that whoever we draft never allows us to draft in the Top 31 ever again.